Wednesday, 9 September 2009

The Secret to Big Boobs, True Love and Losing Weight (3 posts in one to make up for my absence)

Photo credit: Weight Watcher

It's been ages since I've blogged. A week 'holiday' at home with both Els and my niece combined with an annoying computer virus have kept me from my PC. But now I'm back (from outer space..)

Bigger Boobs
So, what's been going on? My boobs have grown. Mainly due to a) eating too much b) drinking too much and c) getting fitted properly at
Rigby & Peller where you instantly increase 2 cup sizes if you usually get measured at M&S or similar.

Making the Course of True Love Run Super Smoothly
Oh, and I've fallen back in love with hubby. Yes, I know we've only been married since March but hey you know how it goes. You don't? Let me enlighten you - most married couples will agree that the first year of marriage is the hardest. Although J's (divorced) brother sagely pointed out that it's actually the last year that's the hardest.

We have argued more in the last six months than we have over the preceeding two years. Weirdly, I have also doubted our relationship quite seriously at least three times since our nuptials and I never had an ounce of doubt before (otherwise I wouldn't have married him).

To be fair, these doubts usually last a maximum of 24 hours and are usually only expressed to my sister or to Sarada. Both of whom know I appreciate J's qualities and know that he's the only man capable of keeping me interested and happy for the next 50 years or so.

So, I've fallen back in love with J in a big way, as opposed to falling in and out of love on a bi-weekly basis as has been the case since that perfect Friday in March when I became Mrs Higgs.

The secret? It's simple yet effective.

I've just been looking for, and praising all the good stuff and letting the rest go. And fantasising. No, not like that. Nothing to do with
Brad Pitt or that yes-I-know-he's-gay-in-real-life-too dashing Captain from Torchwood. Mmmm.

Where was I? Ah, yes, fantasy. The kind where you start off being grumpy because he's left his breakfast plates, jam and crumbs all over the counter in silent expectation of you being Mum and cleaning up after him (though to be fair I usually don't. I just opt to live in a hovel until one of us caves in).

Your mind runs away with similar thoughts of his neglectful, uncaring and damn right rude ways. And then you realise you could be making yourself happier by harnessing your imagination in a more positive way.

So you purposefully indulge in a fantasy of him coming home with flowers, cleaning the kitchen, putting out the washing. Without even being asked. It's addictive. You can get quite carried away with this kind of daydream.

And guess what? It's helped me to remember the times when he has actually done these things in True Life (an Ella-ism there. Much nicer than Real Life seeing as reality is just a subjective construct. Actually, truth probably is too.), and so I'm a Nice Wife when he comes home instead of a grumpy one.

More often than not, strangely, True Life starts to follow my domestic fantasies pretty darn quick. For example...

This morning I woke up and started to get myself in a grump about 'we never go out on dates any more. If we do anything it's because I suggested and organised it'. Then I did my fantasy thing, dreaming of John asking me to the cinema or out for a drink, and thinking 'oh, that will be nice when that happens'.

And it did.

This evening J said 'Do you have Els on Friday night? No? Great, shall we go to the cinema or maybe out for a drink?'. Hallelujah!! I've unwittingly discovered both how to stay in love with your hubby and how to get what you want from your hubby - without even having to ask.

Let me know if you get amazing results from this Jedi Mind Trick too.

Losing Weight
The other brilliant thing that has happened is that I've finally started dieting properly - and I love it! I'm not boozing, not drinking coffee, not eating sugar and I feel fab. Well, most of the time. Sometimes I'm dreaming of chocolate and a smooth, oaky Rioja. But not as much as you'd expect.

I'm doing
Rose Elliot's The Vegetarian Low Carb Diet and really enjoying the food. Because it's high protein my appetite has decreased and I'm quite happy with the one snack I'm allowed a day.

J is eating what I'm eating, but bigger portions and occassionally adding some meat/fish/potatoes and he really likes the food too. I gave up the coffee and booze a couple of weeks before that, so it's just the sugar I had to give up when I started the diet. It's Day 8 now and I've lost two pounds so far...just another 16 to go....

I really recommend it if you don't mind going veggie for a few months. You're allowed alcohol after two weeks but I think I'll lose weight faster if I stay off it.

I've discovered the only way I can drink enough water (2 litres a day!) is to drink nice herbal teas. I really like the
'Yogi Teas' and 'Pukka' brands, most supermarkets stock them but you often get more of the range at a helath food shop. They're tastier than most of the others (Twinings etc) I've tried. My current favourite is Yogi Tea's Throat Comfort - it's really sweet and comforting. Ella loves it too.

When I crave coffee I drink
Good Earth's Jasmine Tea (also in Tesco's etc). It's green tea with Jasmine. An acquired taste if you're not used to green tea but persevere and you'll quickly grow to love it. It perks you up and calms you down at the same time. Magic stuff.

I'm quietly optimistic about my chances of fitting into size 10 jeans again. I'll let you know how I get on.

Well. That was a bloody long post. I look forward to your comments. I've missed you x


Maternal Tales said...

Hello you. Welcome back. Glad it's all going so swimmingly. I am soooooooo with you on the jedi mind trick thingy. Seriously. Have tried it myself. Have had issues with hubby fo a couple of years. Got very miserable, etc. Just wasn't getting any better. Tried lots of things. Last chance was pretending to be in love with him again - praising him, telling him I loved him, 'pretending' to enjoy his company, etc...and it made so much difference to the way he was that he cheered up, stopped being so bloody depressive and controlling and became the man that I loved again. Unbelievable. How funny. You're the wonly other person I know who it's worked for too. Most people when I tell them think I'm crazy! Good for you xxxxx

manicmum said...

I'm definitely going to try the mind-bending thingy. We all have our ups and downs and I was telling a friend today about reading all about other mums' marriages in the blogging world and how therapuetic it is. It always feels so disloyal to discuss one's other half but can't stop myself sometimes. I think the interior monologue idea is powerful - I know once I get negative, the thoughts seem to spiral off in bad direction so logic dictates I can make them turn in another direction if I try. Let you know how it goes. Thanks for the tip and for all the other insights.

nixdminx said...

Hello gorgeous - losing weight? But you are so fabulous as you are! Bigger boobs - lucky you! Falling in love again, how romantic! Now I must tell you that when I search for your blog on google the word (pornography) comes up next to it in brackets like so. Am I missing something? Nice to have you back, your dietary advice is inspiring and you may also want to try Green Tea with Nettles, and also Nettle and Peppermint, both Twinings but very good. PS put yourself down for the next meet up xx

Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

I love Rose Elliot! Pretty much all my successful diets have been from her books (the most recent one, her low GI one). Probably because it's vegetarian and I don't have to read about how great fish is for you and stuff like that! But also because her recipes are generally really, really delicious. When I was doing the low GI one, Chris shared much of the food and just added a piece of fish or chicken breast or something in there. I think I will definitely do it again when I'm ready to use the post-baby pounds.

Your Jedi mind trick sounds interesting. I find I just naturally seem to fall in love again every few years - fortunately, these days it's with the same guy!

Metropolitan Mum said...

There you are! We missed you, too. I want to know more about the jedi approach to relationships. It makes so much sense. Why don't more people tell you about it?

PS: Word verification is 'secszy'. Hehe. I thought that's funny.

A Modern Mother said...

Welcome back. Loved your boob tips!

Anonymous said...

Welcome back! You sound really positive. I think the secret of any good relationship is to ignore the bad and celebrate the good. Good luck with the diet. I've always been careful about what I eat and drink and after a while it becomes normal to eat heathily and it doesn't mean starving. I'd never give up coffee though.

Anonymous said...

Losing weight yet gaining cup sizes? Sadly it seems to be the other way round in our house. I'm intrigued by the Jedi mind trick and will give it a go (my own strategy currently consists of surprising Husband with sex in unusual places. It's not really working...)

Jules said...

Losing weight AND bigger boobs!! I think you should buy a lottery ticket too xx

Anonymous said...

Lovely post Anna. I will try the Rose Elliot book - thanks for the tip, the suger is the killer for me. So much harder to give up than alcohol.

glad to hear that the babe is well in there. Fabby halloween, thanks so much for inviting us all.

love and kisses xxxx

Chris Norton said...

Hi Anna,

Love your dedication to giving up coffee and booze. I wish I had the will power. Please can you email me as I have a story which I think might be of interest for you my email is