Second Time Around

Photo credit: Koecklin

There I am intending to mark these exciting early weeks of pregnancy with voracious blogging activity, and what am I doing?

Watching TV mainly (loving True Blood! So excited about the new Gavin and Stacey!). Oh, and sleeping.

My mojo had left the building.

A combination of pregnancy, a horrible cold virus that drained the last reserves of my energy and the onset of Winter had basically turned me into a sofa-loving, bed-hugging almost-hermit.

But I'm starting to fight back! Nettle tea (thanks for the tip, Sarada), my usual concotion of vitamins and a very Helpful Husband (he even cooks now! Well, if you count reheating Covent Garden soup as cooking) are coaxing back my mojo.

The signs are there. I've started to reach back into the big wide world. I'm going for short walks at lunchtime. I'm phoning friends again. Even meeting them at cafes, and accepting dinner invites. Although nights out still don't seem to have the allure they used to.

Last weekend I blossomed into Uber Mum - it happens sometimes - and had a great time with Ella making novelty-shaped cookies, decorating jam jars to use as tea-light holders, and helping her create scrapbook pages on our (rather excellent) Halloween party.

Oh, and cooking delicious meals, taking her to see Fantastic Mr Fox and hosting a sleepover with one of her best friends. Amongst other things.

So I'm quietly optimistic that I'm starting to 'bloom'. Ten weeks pregnant now and it's not just my demaenour that's blooming. My tummy has got a little confused and clearly thinks it's a good deal more pregnant than it actually is. I've heard this happens second time around.

To be fair, before I fell pregnant with Ella I had quite a small tummy. And was two stone lighter than now (sigh).I'm not sure how much of my bump is actual pregnancy bump or just 'can't be bothered to try and hold it all in now that I can get away with it' bulge. I'm already living in leggings and posting desperate cries of help on Freecycle for maternity gear. Ten weeks! I look more like twenty.

That's another thing about second time around. I can't bring myself to pay for anything I might actually need. Because this time I know I won't need it for long. And living in Henley-on-Thames you get a better class of cast-offs daaahling.

In fact, the second-hand baby gear collection has already started. Apart from maternity clothes, I'm not actively seeking anything. Just welcoming anything that pops up on Freecycle. To date: a good-as-new Brita car seat worth £160 and an Ikea chest-of-drawers-cum-baby-changing-table.

And the other thing about second time around is the books I'm reading. Not much about pregnancy and childcare. A lot about childbirth. I'm trying to convince myself it needn't be such a medicalised ordeal. I'm even considering a home birth, or at least starting off that way with the option to finish off in hospital.

The four 'satisfying' birthing experiences I've heard first-hand accounts of have all been home births. I'm sure there's a correlation between being a bit scared in hospital and having pretty much every intervention known to man. And - before the epidural appeared - the worst sacral pain (back-to-back baby, evil Syntocin)in the whole world ever, so much so I distinctly remember thinking that I wouldn't really care if someone started to saw my leg off because it would pale into comparison with the pain I was experiencing. And I wasn't over-dramatising. It really was that bad. I wish I'd done my homework instead of studiously avoiding the whole scary subject of childbirth.

No more horror-movie style screaming for me. Surely that's not natural? I'm planning to prepare myself much better this time. I want a relaxed, bearable birthing experience second time around.Do let me know about your positive birth experiences. It'll boost my spirits even more..

The Secret to Big Boobs, True Love and Losing Weight (3 posts in one to make up for my absence)

Photo credit: Weight Watcher

It's been ages since I've blogged. A week 'holiday' at home with both Els and my niece combined with an annoying computer virus have kept me from my PC. But now I'm back (from outer space..)

Bigger Boobs
So, what's been going on? My boobs have grown. Mainly due to a) eating too much b) drinking too much and c) getting fitted properly at Rigby & Peller where you instantly increase 2 cup sizes if you usually get measured at M&S or similar.

Making the Course of True Love Run Super Smoothly
Oh, and I've fallen back in love with hubby. Yes, I know we've only been married since March but hey you know how it goes. You don't? Let me enlighten you - most married couples will agree that the first year of marriage is the hardest. Although J's (divorced) brother sagely pointed out that it's actually the last year that's the hardest.

We have argued more in the last six months than we have over the preceeding two years. Weirdly, I have also doubted our relationship quite seriously at least three times since our nuptials and I never had an ounce of doubt before (otherwise I wouldn't have married him).

To be fair, these doubts usually last a maximum of 24 hours and are usually only expressed to my sister or to Sarada. Both of whom know I appreciate J's qualities and know that he's the only man capable of keeping me interested and happy for the next 50 years or so.

So, I've fallen back in love with J in a big way, as opposed to falling in and out of love on a bi-weekly basis as has been the case since that perfect Friday in March when I became Mrs Higgs.

The secret? It's simple yet effective.

I've just been looking for, and praising all the good stuff and letting the rest go. And fantasising. No, not like that. Nothing to do with Brad Pitt or that yes-I-know-he's-gay-in-real-life-too dashing Captain from Torchwood. Mmmm.

Where was I? Ah, yes, fantasy. The kind where you start off being grumpy because he's left his breakfast plates, jam and crumbs all over the counter in silent expectation of you being Mum and cleaning up after him (though to be fair I usually don't. I just opt to live in a hovel until one of us caves in).

Your mind runs away with similar thoughts of his neglectful, uncaring and damn right rude ways. And then you realise you could be making yourself happier by harnessing your imagination in a more positive way.

So you purposefully indulge in a fantasy of him coming home with flowers, cleaning the kitchen, putting out the washing. Without even being asked. It's addictive. You can get quite carried away with this kind of daydream.

And guess what? It's helped me to remember the times when he has actually done these things in True Life (an Ella-ism there. Much nicer than Real Life seeing as reality is just a subjective construct. Actually, truth probably is too.), and so I'm a Nice Wife when he comes home instead of a grumpy one.

More often than not, strangely, True Life starts to follow my domestic fantasies pretty darn quick. For example...

This morning I woke up and started to get myself in a grump about 'we never go out on dates any more. If we do anything it's because I suggested and organised it'. Then I did my fantasy thing, dreaming of John asking me to the cinema or out for a drink, and thinking 'oh, that will be nice when that happens'.

And it did.

This evening J said 'Do you have Els on Friday night? No? Great, shall we go to the cinema or maybe out for a drink?'. Hallelujah!! I've unwittingly discovered both how to stay in love with your hubby and how to get what you want from your hubby - without even having to ask.

Let me know if you get amazing results from this Jedi Mind Trick too.

Losing Weight
The other brilliant thing that has happened is that I've finally started dieting properly - and I love it! I'm not boozing, not drinking coffee, not eating sugar and I feel fab. Well, most of the time. Sometimes I'm dreaming of chocolate and a smooth, oaky Rioja. But not as much as you'd expect.

I'm doing Rose Elliot's The Vegetarian Low Carb Diet and really enjoying the food. Because it's high protein my appetite has decreased and I'm quite happy with the one snack I'm allowed a day.

J is eating what I'm eating, but bigger portions and occassionally adding some meat/fish/potatoes and he really likes the food too. I gave up the coffee and booze a couple of weeks before that, so it's just the sugar I had to give up when I started the diet. It's Day 8 now and I've lost two pounds so far...just another 16 to go....

I really recommend it if you don't mind going veggie for a few months. You're allowed alcohol after two weeks but I think I'll lose weight faster if I stay off it.

I've discovered the only way I can drink enough water (2 litres a day!) is to drink nice herbal teas. I really like the 'Yogi Teas' and 'Pukka' brands, most supermarkets stock them but you often get more of the range at a helath food shop. They're tastier than most of the others (Twinings etc) I've tried. My current favourite is Yogi Tea's Throat Comfort - it's really sweet and comforting. Ella loves it too.

When I crave coffee I drink Good Earth's Jasmine Tea (also in Tesco's etc). It's green tea with Jasmine. An acquired taste if you're not used to green tea but persevere and you'll quickly grow to love it. It perks you up and calms you down at the same time. Magic stuff.

I'm quietly optimistic about my chances of fitting into size 10 jeans again. I'll let you know how I get on.

Well. That was a bloody long post. I look forward to your comments. I've missed you x