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Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Second Time Around



Photo credit: Koecklin
There I am intending to mark these exciting early weeks of pregnancy with voracious blogging activity, and what am I doing?

Watching TV mainly (loving True Blood! So excited about the new Gavin and Stacey!). Oh, and sleeping.

My mojo had left the building.

A combination of pregnancy, a horrible cold virus that drained the last reserves of my energy and the onset of Winter had basically turned me into a sofa-loving, bed-hugging almost-hermit.

But I'm starting to fight back! Nettle tea (thanks for the tip, Sarada), my usual concotion of vitamins and a very Helpful Husband (he even cooks now! Well, if you count reheating Covent Garden soup as cooking) are coaxing back my mojo.

The signs are there. I've started to reach back into the big wide world. I'm going for short walks at lunchtime. I'm phoning friends again. Even meeting them at cafes, and accepting dinner invites. Although nights out still don't seem to have the allure they used to.

Last weekend I blossomed into Uber Mum - it happens sometimes - and had a great time with Ella making novelty-shaped cookies, decorating jam jars to use as tea-light holders, and helping her create scrapbook pages on our (rather excellent) Halloween party.

Oh, and cooking delicious meals, taking her to see Fantastic Mr Fox and hosting a sleepover with one of her best friends. Amongst other things.

So I'm quietly optimistic that I'm starting to 'bloom'. Ten weeks pregnant now and it's not just my demaenour that's blooming. My tummy has got a little confused and clearly thinks it's a good deal more pregnant than it actually is. I've heard this happens second time around.

To be fair, before I fell pregnant with Ella I had quite a small tummy. And was two stone lighter than now (sigh).I'm not sure how much of my bump is actual pregnancy bump or just 'can't be bothered to try and hold it all in now that I can get away with it' bulge. I'm already living in leggings and posting desperate cries of help on Freecycle for maternity gear. Ten weeks! I look more like twenty.

That's another thing about second time around. I can't bring myself to pay for anything I might actually need. Because this time I know I won't need it for long. And living in Henley-on-Thames you get a better class of cast-offs daaahling.

In fact, the second-hand baby gear collection has already started. Apart from maternity clothes, I'm not actively seeking anything. Just welcoming anything that pops up on Freecycle. To date: a good-as-new Brita car seat worth £160 and an Ikea chest-of-drawers-cum-baby-changing-table.

And the other thing about second time around is the books I'm reading. Not much about pregnancy and childcare. A lot about childbirth. I'm trying to convince myself it needn't be such a medicalised ordeal. I'm even considering a home birth, or at least starting off that way with the option to finish off in hospital.

The four 'satisfying' birthing experiences I've heard first-hand accounts of have all been home births. I'm sure there's a correlation between being a bit scared in hospital and having pretty much every intervention known to man. And - before the epidural appeared - the worst sacral pain (back-to-back baby, evil Syntocin)in the whole world ever, so much so I distinctly remember thinking that I wouldn't really care if someone started to saw my leg off because it would pale into comparison with the pain I was experiencing. And I wasn't over-dramatising. It really was that bad. I wish I'd done my homework instead of studiously avoiding the whole scary subject of childbirth.

No more horror-movie style screaming for me. Surely that's not natural? I'm planning to prepare myself much better this time. I want a relaxed, bearable birthing experience second time around.Do let me know about your positive birth experiences. It'll boost my spirits even more..

8 comments:

More than Just a Mother said...

I won't go into details, but my first labour (twin boys) was a frightening, medicalised experience which left me with post-traumatic stress disorder. 16 months later I was back in the same delivery room giving birth to my twin girls and having a totally different, and extremely positive experience. Best of luck, and enjoy your pregnancy. x

Jo Beaufoix said...

Congrats on your fab news. My birth with Miss M was positive even though I was induced (again) and had a bleed afterwards (again). The thing is, it just felt calmer because I knew what was coming. I felt loads more in control and knew what I wanted/didn't want. SO if nothing else it has to be easier just because you're not going in to such an unknown this time. Keep blooming. :D

Amy said...

congrats hun!! I'm 15weeks so we'll be close together yay! I'm having a home birth this time after 4 hospital births, they all went ok but i want to left to my own devices this time. Second time around is easier mine was half as long and with no trouble xxxx

Anna Colette said...

Thank you for your encouraging comments!

I do think there should be more mother-centred support for the birthing process both in the run-up and during the birth.

I guess it's up to us ladies to eductae ourselves but first time around you trust that the docs and midwives have yours and the babies best interests at heart. They do, but they also have their own agendas and definitely don't explain the pros and cons of all the medical interventions they (often quite unnecessarily) foist upon us.

Right, stepping off my soapbox now!

nixdminx said...

congratulations on your great news - that's brilliant! xx

Pippa said...

I am sure that the bloom will kick in, in full force before you know it... and then before you know it you will be holding this little one close!

mind wide open said...

Hon, we'll do some work on that last birth together, when you have a moment. And then we can do some hypnobirthing in preparation for next time. Dont worry, be happy there's plenty of time.

Anonymous said...

I had my first (26 hour labout) at the Royal Berks - very kind staff etc but not a pleasant experience. Had my second (in double quick time) at Wallingford. Perfect half-way house between home and hospital. Got there at 1.00, Pips born at 1.30, cups of tea to recover from shock (really - the shakes, sweating...) and home before dawn. I'd thoroughly recommend it for Henley mums!