The Big Day

The sun shone, my boobs looked (and I quote a friend here) “magnificent” in my dress - thus having the desired effect of detracting from my expanded waistline (which was less expanded due to the miracle of Spanx).

And no, I’m not up the duff. I’ve been a lazy, greedy piggy for a long time and two weeks in a bikini has convinced me to do something about it NOW.  Photo: Me, J, Ella & Sulis

The ceremony was short, sweet and special. The flower girls and my sister looked gorgeous. Lunch was great, and very generously paid for by the best man.

I won’t say too much about the wedding night other than J was like a man half his age and drinking champagne in the hot tub at the Angus Suite was a blissful experience which I think we should repeat on every wedding anniversary. 

We had our wedding party the following evening. I hardly spent any time with J and wished I could spend more time with my good friends but speaking to 70+ guests over five hours was challenge enough.

I surprised myself by doing an impromptu speech, and an inebriated J surprised himself by responding to cries from his friends of ‘J do a speech’ by grabbing the mic off me and saying “Yeah…ditto. I agree with everything Anna said”. A good start to married life.

Pre Marital Tension

photo credit
 

Lately I've been experiencing a strange form of PMT - Pre Marital Tension.

I thought I'd been so clever - after all I'd done everything I could to avoid the syndrome. No cars, no flowers, no seating plans...all wedding preparations done and dusted in a matter of weeks not months. Surely, I would be a very calm, relaxed bride.

But I hadn't accounted for the politics.

People calling me up, upset because they weren't invited to the wedding party. They remain uninvited. A friend asking me if she and her partner could bring other friends I don't know so they have someone to talk to at the wedding (it's a wedding! Go mingle!).

I've had someone that has long since faded into the background - due to distinct lack of interest on both sides - calling me up for the first time in years 'just to say hello' when I know through mutual friends they're angling for an invitation. Their message remains on my answering machine - unanswered.

I've fallen out with someone over wedding cake (don't ask). A was-a-good-friend-now-more-of-an-aquaintance texted me yesterday to say she isn't coming because her ex-husband will be at the party (although he doesn't seem to have a problem about bumping into her, and they still text each other occassionally) and her current beau is uncomfortable about it. She's not prepared to come without her partner.

My childcare plans fell through recently due certain people getting the hump - meaning I can't get too tipsy at my wedding party because Els and Sulis (my niece) will be staying until the party ends at midnight and coming back to my house with J and me. We had hoped to have a bit of a grown-up 'after party' so that's not possible now. 

Frankly, I can't face small children with a hangover the next day (that's me with the hangover, not the small children obviously), so now I should really be watching my champagne intake at our party or -more likely- having a good time and regretting it bitterly the next morning. Though there's always that stalwart babysitter, CBeebies, to fall back on.

On top of the realisation that people are a lot weirder than I first thought, and a good deal more selfish, J and I have been niggling at one another this week. A lot.

According to my good friend Adie, she and her hubby were the same and her gay friends also recently experienced a prolonged bout of PMT with a lot of huffiness and bad temper prior to their civil partnership. 

It seems no one can escape - straight or gay, big wedding or small.

All is well now though. The day before my wedding I've finished my work, been waxed within an inch of my life and had a rare but much needed manicure.

Anna (not me, a friend with the same name) called yesterday to offer her fairy lights - along with herself and her husband to string them along the beams in the hall before the party and run anylast-minute errands for us while we're decking out the venue.

Helen is meeting me at the hall on Saturday to help make helium balloon clusters and prettify the hall. Several friends, and El's granny (known as 'Nonna' because she is too young-looking and gorgeous to be 'granny') have offered to take El home after the party to give me a chance to let my hair down and recuperate the next morning (all declined as I'll have Sulis anyway and I know that two kids can occupy themselves in the morning without adult assistance better than one!).

My friend and colleague popped over yesterday to give me a wonderful and unexpected present - a much-longed-for bread maker. This is despite the fact that we've asked people to bring a 'pot luck' dish for the buffet to save us catering costs - and not to worry about getting us a pressie.

Sarada has insisted on making a wedding cake - although I was completely unfussed about having one at first, I'm now really grateful that we will have a cake (btw she's not the person I fell out with over cake!).

Oh, and my mother has kindly given me some spending money for our honeymoon. Adie has let me know several times that she'll do anything to help, and to call me on the day if I need anything at all. Then there's Anton who paid for half of my dress as a present, Juliet who is helping me with my hair and make-up...

I'm chuffed to bits with people's kindness and help. It's eased my PMT and I'm looking forward to the wedding tomorrow, and the party on Saturday, with eagerness and a slight touch of butterflies. 

It's gonna be great.

My Credit Crunch Wedding

I'm not usually known to be frugal, but when a part-time marketing consultant/copywriter and a full-time heating engineer decide to tie the knot they have to take into account a distinct lack of funds. For J and I, you can also include a distinct lack of willing benefactors. 

A little internet resarch revealed the fact that my dream wedding - a marquee on Temple Island for 150 guests, free flowing booze, fine dining, loads of flowers etc would only be a reality for me if I robbed a bank, sold a kidney or reconciled myself to 5-10 years worth of paying off a loan. For just one day (albeit a very special one)? No way, Jose. 

Our limited resources haven't been too restrictive though. We've just had to focus more on what's really important for us. Which is: a fab honeymoon and a great party. Oh, and I expanded that criteria recently to include a Red-Carpet-Oscar-Winner-Dress. A girl has got to be a goddess on her wedding day, naturellement.

So, we're going halves on a two week honeymoon in Thailand. I'll be raiding my recently-started ISA for that one. Actually, depleting it would be a more accurate description.

My dress is a Mireia Bisbe (Spanish designer) raspberry red and was way over my budget. That is, until I bargained the Back Room Girls down by £200 and my lovely friend, Anton offered to put £250 towards it as a wedding present. Bless his cotton socks.

Did I mention my sweet, silver shoes were on sale at New Look? I spend per week more on cappucinnos than I did on them. They look great.

My lovely flower girls will be in Monsoon dresses.So pretty. Their posies are from Ebay.

My arty friend is doing my make-up, both for the ceremony and for the party. I'm eschewing the Aston Martin for my clapped out Golf.

The wedding invitations were free to do - we set up a Facebook event page and invited everyone via that. Our guests can use the page to upload photos and videos after the event. For those resisting signing up to Facebook, we just emailed them the info.

We have no official photographer, but have invited the Henley Standard photographer to come - they've agreed.

Our ceremony will be just one witness each plus Els and my niece, Sulis, at Henley Registry Office. We'll then all go to Michelin-starred The Hand In Flowers for lunch which we'll go dutch on. J and I will spend our wedding night in their Angus Suite. Our night of decadence.

As for the party. Well, the Village Hall at Nettlebed is a real find. Yes it is a Village Hall but no it isn't lacking in atmosphere. It's wood panelled and has a bar. Better still, it's only £200 to hire for the evening. Bargain.

Instead of a wedding present, we're asking friends to bring a 'pot luck' buffet dish and money to spend on themselves at the bar. Sarada, who is a wonderful cook, has offered to make the cake. I've asked for carrot cake. Not a traditional choice, but then I'm not really a traditional kinda gal.

For decorations, I'm planning on red and white helium balloon clusters - bunched together with ribbon and weighted a bit like the ones here. We'll get a kit and create them ourselves. Candleson the tables for a twinkly effect, but these ones so we don't burn the place down.

Music will either be our friends DJ-ing (one of them is happy to lend us her decks, another has some booming speakers, and at least 3 of our friends are fairly good DJs), or playlists we'll line up on J's Ipod.

Entertainment? Well, that's the best bit. 

My good friend does a Burlesque Fire Hoola-Hooping show (for festivals and corporate gigs) and she's willing to perform for free on the huge, secluded lawn at the back of the venue. We're keeping that one a secret - apart from warning friends with kids in case they want to shield the little dears from nipple tassles and suspenders - so shhh..don't tell ;-)

I also fancy getting some of these and asking guests to launch them after the Hoola-Hoop show, as a nice finale.

Total cost? Way, way, way less than the traditional wedding. With rings, excluding honeymoon, I reckon about £1,500. Good eh?