Poor little Liss has had her first heavy cold. She's had snuffles a few times before but this time it was more serious.
We kissed goodbye to sleeping through the night and said a reluctant 'oh, hi again' to waking every two hours to pop a boob in the crying mouth of a restless baby.
After a day of ineffectual faffing around with my mother and baby homeopathy kit, I decided to bring out the big guns. Garlic.
As well as being nature's antibiotic, garlic has powerful antibacterial and antiviral properties. I know that this marvellous member of the onion family works best when eaten raw, but how to get it into my baby?
My aha moment came when flicking through my copy of the excellent Gentle Healing for Baby and Child book which informed me that garlic can be absorbed through the skin so if a child won't take it by mouth you can crush a clove and smear it, with the help of a little olive oil, onto their feet secure it with a gauze bandage and leave (to marinate?) overnight.
So I duly turned my baby into a french cannibal's dream. A dash of olive oil, a crush of fresh garlic et voila un bebe delicieux! With no gauze in sight, I 'double bagged' my precious one with baby socks and then tights over the top to keep the garlic socks in place.
Seeing as Alicia was too ill for us to venture out, and I didn't have Ella so wasn't on school run duty for a few days either, we stayed in the house and Alicia wore garlic socks for two days running.
Boy did she pong, but within eight hours of her first having garlic feet I noticed a marked difference. Her chest sounded looser and she was less distressed. The cold seemed to be breaking, the garlic was doing its job marvellously.
Were I made of sterner stuff, I would have continued the garlic treatment a little longer but once she was over the worst I was keen to switch to a more fragrant remedy. One that I could use in the day too without alarming potential new friends at the mum and baby groups we go to.
My friend Sarada recently gave me a hugely useful and inspiring book on aromatherapy - The Fragrant Pharmacy. It has a section dedicated to babies so I read the advice for coughs and colds in that section and adapted the blend 'recipes' they recommend to suit what oils I already have.
This is the Baby Snuffle Blend I created a few days ago:
10 drops Eucalyptus, 5 drops Tea tree, 10 drops Lavender, 5 drops Thyme.
I put 3 drops into a bowl of hot water and placed that near Alicia's cot at night. I also used 3 drops of this blend in approx 2 teaspoons of sweet almond oil and used it as a chest and back rub three times a day. The oils are widely available in healthfood shops or you could order from the internet - try Neal's Yard.
She's waking only once or twice a night now and is easily settled. Her breathing is much easier. She's still a little chesty but the cough has gone. Oh, and she smells sooo much better now!
Monday, 29 November 2010
Monday, 22 November 2010
The Heartwarming Thanksgiving Christmas Tree
Yes, I know I orbited out of the blogosphere for some time. I can't promise it won't happen again and no, I don't have a good reason for my absence. I've been spending plenty of time on the internet but have been in receiving mode rather than transmitting mode.
And my how time has flown. Alicia is now five months old and as cute as a button. Scrub that, as buttons aren't particularly cute. Cute as an ickle fluffy kitten. No, cuter. Like a baby panda bear.
Actually that panda clip is scarily appropriate. I seem to spend the majority of my time sitting around eating while Alicia chills out next to me, all smiles and scrumminess for 90% of the time and then out of the blue becomes what hubby calls a 'sound terrorist'. Bless her.
I've recently started buying the Green Parent Magazine. I love it. It's full of the type of mummies I aspire to be but know I'll never fully become...
Natural earth mothers raising wholesome, home-schooled vegan children (at least four or five of them). Baking tasty yet nutritious treats whilst wearing the baby and leading the whole family into wonderful, inspiring craft projects.
Actually, to give me my dues I do bake once or twice a week. But I realised that it's been a while since I did any crafts with Ella and one idea in this month's issue really appealed to me: creating a Thanksgiving Tree.
It was great timing as I'd already been thinking of making a tree-to-display-on-the-wall to compensate for our lack of fir tree this year. We have to do without the because my new nursing chair is now occupying the only spot in our tyeeny tiny house where a Christmas tree could possibly go.
The Green Parent suggests creating a family project-cum-ritual in homage to the American harvest festival-style celebration of Thanksgiving.
You create a tree cutout and get each family member to trace their handprints on coloured card and cut out to form the leaves of the tree. Each person then writes things they are grateful for onto their 'leaves' and decorates the paper tree. Aha I thought, with a minor adaptation that could become our paper Christmas tree. And what a nice activity to balance out the rampant consumerism that drives the season of goodwill.
After a nice roast dinner with friends (followed by my first ever pumpkin pie!), Ella and I cut a large Christmas tree shape out of gold wrapping paper and set to making paper shapes to decorate it with - handprints, baubles, holly etc all of which we inscribed with things we are grateful for. Mid-activity, Ella said "it's nice to be able to do this sort of thing with people you trust. It's nice to share our feelings." Hear hear.
We even traced Alicia's handprint and wrote 'milk' on it after also considering 'playgym' and 'cuddles'. J was busy with Alicia for most of the activity so he told us a few things to write on his behalf (one of which was my cooking. Aww!).
Due to lack of blu-tack, the Thanksgiving/Christmas tree and decorations aren't yet up on the wall. Ella's now with her dad for a few days so we'll finish the activity when she's back and post a piccie of the result. Be warned - I'm not that artistic!
The activity was a heart-warming, wonderfully bonding thing to do. I so enjoyed sprinkling the lounge floor with glitter that I've decided we should also make all of our Christmas decorations this year.
LATER NOTE: Here's our tree
And my how time has flown. Alicia is now five months old and as cute as a button. Scrub that, as buttons aren't particularly cute. Cute as an ickle fluffy kitten. No, cuter. Like a baby panda bear.
Actually that panda clip is scarily appropriate. I seem to spend the majority of my time sitting around eating while Alicia chills out next to me, all smiles and scrumminess for 90% of the time and then out of the blue becomes what hubby calls a 'sound terrorist'. Bless her.
I've recently started buying the Green Parent Magazine. I love it. It's full of the type of mummies I aspire to be but know I'll never fully become...
Natural earth mothers raising wholesome, home-schooled vegan children (at least four or five of them). Baking tasty yet nutritious treats whilst wearing the baby and leading the whole family into wonderful, inspiring craft projects.
Actually, to give me my dues I do bake once or twice a week. But I realised that it's been a while since I did any crafts with Ella and one idea in this month's issue really appealed to me: creating a Thanksgiving Tree.
It was great timing as I'd already been thinking of making a tree-to-display-on-the-wall to compensate for our lack of fir tree this year. We have to do without the because my new nursing chair is now occupying the only spot in our tyeeny tiny house where a Christmas tree could possibly go.
The Green Parent suggests creating a family project-cum-ritual in homage to the American harvest festival-style celebration of Thanksgiving.
You create a tree cutout and get each family member to trace their handprints on coloured card and cut out to form the leaves of the tree. Each person then writes things they are grateful for onto their 'leaves' and decorates the paper tree. Aha I thought, with a minor adaptation that could become our paper Christmas tree. And what a nice activity to balance out the rampant consumerism that drives the season of goodwill.
After a nice roast dinner with friends (followed by my first ever pumpkin pie!), Ella and I cut a large Christmas tree shape out of gold wrapping paper and set to making paper shapes to decorate it with - handprints, baubles, holly etc all of which we inscribed with things we are grateful for. Mid-activity, Ella said "it's nice to be able to do this sort of thing with people you trust. It's nice to share our feelings." Hear hear.
We even traced Alicia's handprint and wrote 'milk' on it after also considering 'playgym' and 'cuddles'. J was busy with Alicia for most of the activity so he told us a few things to write on his behalf (one of which was my cooking. Aww!).
Due to lack of blu-tack, the Thanksgiving/Christmas tree and decorations aren't yet up on the wall. Ella's now with her dad for a few days so we'll finish the activity when she's back and post a piccie of the result. Be warned - I'm not that artistic!
The activity was a heart-warming, wonderfully bonding thing to do. I so enjoyed sprinkling the lounge floor with glitter that I've decided we should also make all of our Christmas decorations this year.
LATER NOTE: Here's our tree
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Alicia's Naming Ceremony
As I promised in the last post, here is the ceremony in full.
How cute is Ella's pledge?!
(ANNA)What is a naming ceremony?
Thank you for coming to this naming ceremony. A naming ceremony’s purpose is to officially give a baby their name and welcome them into the world. It is a non-religious christening. Today we celebrate the birth of Alicia, and welcome her into her community of family, godparents and our close friends.
Across the world ceremonies or rituals are used to define the more important stages of our lives. From these celebrations are born new roles, new relationships and new responsibilities.
For you all, as family and close friends this ceremony is an opportunity to consider the relationship that you will have with Alicia, and the role that you want to take in her upbringing.
Julia Moulton’s Reading
This reading is adapted from an American Indian Naming Ceremony:
Alicia Lily Higgs, born of two hearts
You are grace
You are beauty
You are love beyond measure
And gift without price
We are gathered this day
To introduce you to your greater family,
And to bless you, before the world
Even as we have been blessed by your birth!
We offer you to the Four Winds
That you might embrace adventure
And know the wonder of far-off lands
We offer you to the Sky
That you may steer by the stars
And never feel that you are far from home
We offer you to the Sun
That warmth and light may surround you always
And guide you safely on your way
We offer you to the Moon
That you may find comfort in darkness
And never have cause to fear the night
(ANNA) Alicia’s Name
Alicia is the Spanish form of Alice. This acknowledges John’s Spanish roots, and my side of the family as my grandmother was called Alice. We’ve chosen the english pronounciation Alicia instead of the Spanish a-LEE-thya.
Her middle name is Lily because it’s one of my favourite flowers and her sister Ella also has a fragrant flower as her middle name (Jasmin)
Alicia means NOBLE person. Dictionary defines noble as:
A person of high birth or rank (well she’s definitely our little princess)
Being very impressive or imposing in appearance (which she is with her bright blue eyes and amazing mop of hair!)
Having excellent qualities or abilities and an exemplary moral character (We will do our best to instill good values in her .We have chosen godparents who we think can inspire her with certain excellent qualities)
(JOHN) Being a Godparent
In children's stories, a fairy godmother makes an appearance just when she's needed most. With the wave of a wand, she can make everything right. Godparents might not have a magic wand, but their role in a child's life can have a magical effect.
It is said that the biggest gift a Godparent can give their Godchild is time.
We have chosen godparents who we think will be interested in Alicia and willing to get involved in her life. But we recognise that the role of godparent is theirs to make of what they will, and so we are asking each godparent today to make their own personal commitment, a pledge, to Alicia.
Godparents Introduction and Pledges
John’s Choices
I’ve chosen Julie for her strong sense of morality, her generosity and her strength in times of need. Most of all for her heart of gold. I’ve also chosen her partner Paul (known as Charlie to his friends) for his spirit of adventure and his drive to achieve his aspirations. And for his interest in culture, music and travel which I hope he will inspire Alicia with.
Julie and Charlie what is your pledge to Alicia?
We promise to use our experience of life to enhance your development. We also agree to be supportive whenever and wherever possible to help you fulfil your dreams.
I’ve chosen Paul for his gentleness, loyalty and sincerity. He is very charming in company and I hope he can pass this quality to Alicia.
Paul, what is your pledge to Alicia?
I promise to extend my friendship with John & Anna to you, their daughter. If you need someone to turn or talk to, I promise my door will always be open, and I will always listen.
I’ve chosen Selina for her caring nature, infectious laughter, enthusiasm for life and being a great confidante – which I’m sure she will be for Alicia.
Selina, what is your pledge to Alicia?
I promise to love, support, listen and encourage you. I promise to always be your friend, and will enjoy being a part of your life, watching you grow up, and find your way in the world.
Anna’s Choices
I’ve chosen Anna because she is my oldest and most loyal friend, and in the 23 years I’ve known her I’ve never heard her say a bad word about anyone. She never judges and she never complains, and she is a brilliant listener – qualities that will make her a great godparent to Alicia. I’ve also chosen Rob, Anna’s husband, because together they are raising their children in a way I completely agree with – in love and kindness but also with firm boundaries.
Anna and Rob, what is your pledge to Alicia?
We promise to encourage and praise you, give you the confidence to be you and express yourself. We will always believe in you. We promise to always be there for you, always listen to you and we will never judge you.
I’ve chosen Sarada because she is my oldest and one of my most treasured friends. She helped me immensely during Alicia’s birth, giving both me and John support and encouragement throughout. She is hugely generous with her time despite her busy life. She is strong, warm and loving and lots of fun and she has always given me excellent advice when I’ve needed it. I know she will be happy to do the same for Alicia, and will always welcome her with open arms – oh, and Sarada’s a great veggie cook so I’m sure Alicia will also appreciate that as much as I do!
Sarada, what is your pledge to Alicia?
My dear Alicia - what an honour to be chosen as your godparent! I promise to do my best to be whatever you need me to be - a shoulder to cry on, someone you can turn to for advice, someone to laugh and have fun with and definitely someone to feed you! I promise to help you find the strength and truth that lies within you to guide you on your journey through life. And I will love you with all my heart.
(JOHN) John and Anna’s Pledge
Thank you all for agreeing to be godparents to Alicia. She’s a lucky girl to have your support throughout her life. Alicia, we promise to be the best parents we can be, to love you and listen to you, to guide you and encourage you always. We want to help you enjoy your life, and to have the confidence to do whatever interests and inspires you.
(ELLA) Ella’s Pledge
Alicia I promise to care for you and play with you, and be a wonderful sister. I love you to bits and I always will.
(JOHN) (John’s Reading) They say that:
A baby will make love stronger
Days shorter, Nights longer
Bankroll smaller, Clothes shabbier, Home happier,
The past forgotten,
And the future worth living for.
(ANNA) (Anna’s Reading) The following poem seems very fitting. It manages to encapsulate my attitude towards child rearing and to housework as well!
A Mothers Wish
I hope my child looks back on today
And sees a Mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking,
But children grow up when you're not looking.
Tomorrow I'll do all the chores you can mention
But today, my baby needs time and attention.
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm cuddling my baby, and babies don't keep.
(JOHN) I’d like to propose a toast to Alicia Lily Higgs – may she have a fabulous life full of love and adventure. To Alicia Lily.
You now have the opportunity to take photos and then we’ll go to the Bunkfest - please join us for a little while but do feel free to wander off whenever you feel like it as there’s lots going on and we will be easy to find throughout the day – we’ll mainly be in the Kinecroft area.
Thank you all for coming.
Photo session then celebration at Bunkfest
How cute is Ella's pledge?!
(ANNA)What is a naming ceremony?
Thank you for coming to this naming ceremony. A naming ceremony’s purpose is to officially give a baby their name and welcome them into the world. It is a non-religious christening. Today we celebrate the birth of Alicia, and welcome her into her community of family, godparents and our close friends.
Across the world ceremonies or rituals are used to define the more important stages of our lives. From these celebrations are born new roles, new relationships and new responsibilities.
For you all, as family and close friends this ceremony is an opportunity to consider the relationship that you will have with Alicia, and the role that you want to take in her upbringing.
Julia Moulton’s Reading
This reading is adapted from an American Indian Naming Ceremony:
Alicia Lily Higgs, born of two hearts
You are grace
You are beauty
You are love beyond measure
And gift without price
We are gathered this day
To introduce you to your greater family,
And to bless you, before the world
Even as we have been blessed by your birth!
We offer you to the Four Winds
That you might embrace adventure
And know the wonder of far-off lands
We offer you to the Sky
That you may steer by the stars
And never feel that you are far from home
We offer you to the Sun
That warmth and light may surround you always
And guide you safely on your way
We offer you to the Moon
That you may find comfort in darkness
And never have cause to fear the night
(ANNA) Alicia’s Name
Alicia is the Spanish form of Alice. This acknowledges John’s Spanish roots, and my side of the family as my grandmother was called Alice. We’ve chosen the english pronounciation Alicia instead of the Spanish a-LEE-thya.
Her middle name is Lily because it’s one of my favourite flowers and her sister Ella also has a fragrant flower as her middle name (Jasmin)
Alicia means NOBLE person. Dictionary defines noble as:
A person of high birth or rank (well she’s definitely our little princess)
Being very impressive or imposing in appearance (which she is with her bright blue eyes and amazing mop of hair!)
Having excellent qualities or abilities and an exemplary moral character (We will do our best to instill good values in her .We have chosen godparents who we think can inspire her with certain excellent qualities)
(JOHN) Being a Godparent
In children's stories, a fairy godmother makes an appearance just when she's needed most. With the wave of a wand, she can make everything right. Godparents might not have a magic wand, but their role in a child's life can have a magical effect.
It is said that the biggest gift a Godparent can give their Godchild is time.
We have chosen godparents who we think will be interested in Alicia and willing to get involved in her life. But we recognise that the role of godparent is theirs to make of what they will, and so we are asking each godparent today to make their own personal commitment, a pledge, to Alicia.
Godparents Introduction and Pledges
John’s Choices
I’ve chosen Julie for her strong sense of morality, her generosity and her strength in times of need. Most of all for her heart of gold. I’ve also chosen her partner Paul (known as Charlie to his friends) for his spirit of adventure and his drive to achieve his aspirations. And for his interest in culture, music and travel which I hope he will inspire Alicia with.
Julie and Charlie what is your pledge to Alicia?
We promise to use our experience of life to enhance your development. We also agree to be supportive whenever and wherever possible to help you fulfil your dreams.
I’ve chosen Paul for his gentleness, loyalty and sincerity. He is very charming in company and I hope he can pass this quality to Alicia.
Paul, what is your pledge to Alicia?
I promise to extend my friendship with John & Anna to you, their daughter. If you need someone to turn or talk to, I promise my door will always be open, and I will always listen.
I’ve chosen Selina for her caring nature, infectious laughter, enthusiasm for life and being a great confidante – which I’m sure she will be for Alicia.
Selina, what is your pledge to Alicia?
I promise to love, support, listen and encourage you. I promise to always be your friend, and will enjoy being a part of your life, watching you grow up, and find your way in the world.
Anna’s Choices
I’ve chosen Anna because she is my oldest and most loyal friend, and in the 23 years I’ve known her I’ve never heard her say a bad word about anyone. She never judges and she never complains, and she is a brilliant listener – qualities that will make her a great godparent to Alicia. I’ve also chosen Rob, Anna’s husband, because together they are raising their children in a way I completely agree with – in love and kindness but also with firm boundaries.
Anna and Rob, what is your pledge to Alicia?
We promise to encourage and praise you, give you the confidence to be you and express yourself. We will always believe in you. We promise to always be there for you, always listen to you and we will never judge you.
I’ve chosen Sarada because she is my oldest and one of my most treasured friends. She helped me immensely during Alicia’s birth, giving both me and John support and encouragement throughout. She is hugely generous with her time despite her busy life. She is strong, warm and loving and lots of fun and she has always given me excellent advice when I’ve needed it. I know she will be happy to do the same for Alicia, and will always welcome her with open arms – oh, and Sarada’s a great veggie cook so I’m sure Alicia will also appreciate that as much as I do!
Sarada, what is your pledge to Alicia?
My dear Alicia - what an honour to be chosen as your godparent! I promise to do my best to be whatever you need me to be - a shoulder to cry on, someone you can turn to for advice, someone to laugh and have fun with and definitely someone to feed you! I promise to help you find the strength and truth that lies within you to guide you on your journey through life. And I will love you with all my heart.
(JOHN) John and Anna’s Pledge
Thank you all for agreeing to be godparents to Alicia. She’s a lucky girl to have your support throughout her life. Alicia, we promise to be the best parents we can be, to love you and listen to you, to guide you and encourage you always. We want to help you enjoy your life, and to have the confidence to do whatever interests and inspires you.
(ELLA) Ella’s Pledge
Alicia I promise to care for you and play with you, and be a wonderful sister. I love you to bits and I always will.
(JOHN) (John’s Reading) They say that:
A baby will make love stronger
Days shorter, Nights longer
Bankroll smaller, Clothes shabbier, Home happier,
The past forgotten,
And the future worth living for.
(ANNA) (Anna’s Reading) The following poem seems very fitting. It manages to encapsulate my attitude towards child rearing and to housework as well!
A Mothers Wish
I hope my child looks back on today
And sees a Mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking,
But children grow up when you're not looking.
Tomorrow I'll do all the chores you can mention
But today, my baby needs time and attention.
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm cuddling my baby, and babies don't keep.
(JOHN) I’d like to propose a toast to Alicia Lily Higgs – may she have a fabulous life full of love and adventure. To Alicia Lily.
You now have the opportunity to take photos and then we’ll go to the Bunkfest - please join us for a little while but do feel free to wander off whenever you feel like it as there’s lots going on and we will be easy to find throughout the day – we’ll mainly be in the Kinecroft area.
Thank you all for coming.
Photo session then celebration at Bunkfest
Naming Ceremony
On Saturday we had a lovely do-it-yourself naming ceremony for Alicia. It was a perfect day.
We went to Wallingford Castle grounds with some champagne and around 30 people - mainly family and godparents with a few close friends. We'd asked the godparents to make a commitment to Alicia, a special pledge, and to write this in a special book for when she's older. We asked that the book was something that had meaning for them or had inspired them.
To the guests who wanted to bring something as a gift, we suggested they write a letter to Alicia which she can open on a milestone birthday - either 10,18 or 21.
The sun shone, the ceremony was heartfelt, and everyone enjoyed the Wallingford Bunkfest afterwards. I missed out on most of the fabulous entertainment as I was happy to just sit in the sunshine next to the donkeys and goats (who you could brush for £2) and chat to the guests whilst Alicia slept off the excitement of her Big Day.
I've never been to a naming ceremony before and there wasn't much inspiration on the internet so the next post is the naming ceremony in full in case you - or someone you know - are planning one too.
Oh, and I used a template from here to create a flyer with the readings, pledges and photos of Alicia as an 'order of service' and keepsake.
We went to Wallingford Castle grounds with some champagne and around 30 people - mainly family and godparents with a few close friends. We'd asked the godparents to make a commitment to Alicia, a special pledge, and to write this in a special book for when she's older. We asked that the book was something that had meaning for them or had inspired them.
To the guests who wanted to bring something as a gift, we suggested they write a letter to Alicia which she can open on a milestone birthday - either 10,18 or 21.
The sun shone, the ceremony was heartfelt, and everyone enjoyed the Wallingford Bunkfest afterwards. I missed out on most of the fabulous entertainment as I was happy to just sit in the sunshine next to the donkeys and goats (who you could brush for £2) and chat to the guests whilst Alicia slept off the excitement of her Big Day.
I've never been to a naming ceremony before and there wasn't much inspiration on the internet so the next post is the naming ceremony in full in case you - or someone you know - are planning one too.
Oh, and I used a template from here to create a flyer with the readings, pledges and photos of Alicia as an 'order of service' and keepsake.
Thursday, 2 September 2010
Status Anxiety
Since we got back from camping in the New Forest, where Ella roamed in relative freedom with other people's kids, I've let Ella off the leash a little. She's pretty sensible and road safety aware so she's now allowed to cycle unsupervised around the few streets that make up our neighbourhood.
She gets a taste of freedom, I get a break and everyone's happy.
The other day she made a friend while out on her bike. Ella doesn't go to school in the village so it's a wonderful thing that she has a new play mate living just seconds away from us. She returned home with a phone number, written on a scrap of paper by the girl's mother, and a verbal invitation to play at their house the next morning.
I was so pleased for her that I called her dad to alter our childcare agreement (he was due to have her that day). I called the mother and found myself rushing into waffle mode in an attempt to prove I'm not a negligent mother. I mean, who else lets their seven year old out alone nowadays?
After gushing about Ella's 'just down the street for ten minutes' boundaries, my having a new baby and Ella needing to do play outside when I'm busy with said baby and she's bored etc etc I eventually paused for breath and New Friend's Mother (NFM) invited me to drop Ella off and stay for a coffee. Lovely.
The next day, I discovered NFM has a HUGE house with a swimming pool and zip wire for the kids to play on. What a result for Ella!
While having tea with NFM, who seems very nice, and her neighbour who had popped round (also very nice) NFM's father-in-law appeared and was introduced to me as "Lord So-and-So". Actually, she said his first name but I've substitituted So-and-So in respect of his privacy.
Now, I've been to boarding school with a Right Honourable so I'm not phased by aristos but I got to thinking that my lower social status might be a barrier to Ella's burgeoning friendship.
I'm sure NFM doesn't expect her daughter to hang out solely with the progeny of nobility, but I suddenly felt acutely aware of the class divide and anxious that I would be found out and promptly discarded along with my daughter.
You see, I still retain a vaguely posh boarding school accent. My parents, a teacher and a retired Army Major, are stoically middle class. The majority of parents at Ella's state school think I'm posh (in the main, they don't 'speak proper like I does' despite living in Henley and they're mainly blue collar workers or can't be arsed to work). It could be misleading to someone I've just met.
However, I'm married to a plumber, I live in low rent accommodation (albeit in a very posh area) and my approach to housework is lax on a good day and fairly shocking the rest of the time.
Also, thanks to her peer group, Ella now says 'fanks' instead of 'thanks', regularly drops her Ts, favours the word 'innit' and has stopped calling me 'mummy' in favour of 'mum'. I may have slipped down the ranks somewhat since leaving school.
So, during tea with NFM I became concerned that Ella and I may soon be deemed to be decidedly NOCD ( a deplorable yet strangely amusing phrase used by Army officers' wives when assessing new aquaintances, their child's new boyfriend/girlfriend etc meaning 'Not Our Class Darling' - and by implication not to be associated with).
NFM asked that I pick Ella up from her play date slap bang in the middle of Alicia's nap time. Because Alicia, and of course I, had suffered an unusually early start that morning I explained how keen I was to stay at home so Little Liss could have her full nap so please could she send Ella home at noon.
Suspiciously, to me anyway, she offered to drop Ella off instead (it's less than a minute's walk to my house). I casually breezed 'no need to worry, I am happy for Ella to make her own way back' whilst secretly cringeing at the current disarray of my home and garden.
Unfortunately, NFM ignored my preference and turned up at my teeny tiny two bedroom bungalow with her kids and Ella.
Thank god they didn't come to the door but, horrendously, they lingered by the gate - gazing in wide eyed surprise/horror at the knee high grass on my lawn (we've been away for godsake and busy, um, very, very busy), John's white van parked outside and the rolls of old carpet dumped in next door's garden (they're in the middle of redecorating).
To quote that floppy haired chap in Four Weddings and a Funeral Oh f*ck. F*ckity f*ckity f*ck.
On the bright side, J has now mowed the lawn in a fit of shame and I have taken to sweeping the floors once a day (it used to be once a fortnight) - and am contemplating mopping them in the near future. Once I figure out where we keep the mop...
She gets a taste of freedom, I get a break and everyone's happy.
The other day she made a friend while out on her bike. Ella doesn't go to school in the village so it's a wonderful thing that she has a new play mate living just seconds away from us. She returned home with a phone number, written on a scrap of paper by the girl's mother, and a verbal invitation to play at their house the next morning.
I was so pleased for her that I called her dad to alter our childcare agreement (he was due to have her that day). I called the mother and found myself rushing into waffle mode in an attempt to prove I'm not a negligent mother. I mean, who else lets their seven year old out alone nowadays?
After gushing about Ella's 'just down the street for ten minutes' boundaries, my having a new baby and Ella needing to do play outside when I'm busy with said baby and she's bored etc etc I eventually paused for breath and New Friend's Mother (NFM) invited me to drop Ella off and stay for a coffee. Lovely.
The next day, I discovered NFM has a HUGE house with a swimming pool and zip wire for the kids to play on. What a result for Ella!
While having tea with NFM, who seems very nice, and her neighbour who had popped round (also very nice) NFM's father-in-law appeared and was introduced to me as "Lord So-and-So". Actually, she said his first name but I've substitituted So-and-So in respect of his privacy.
Now, I've been to boarding school with a Right Honourable so I'm not phased by aristos but I got to thinking that my lower social status might be a barrier to Ella's burgeoning friendship.
I'm sure NFM doesn't expect her daughter to hang out solely with the progeny of nobility, but I suddenly felt acutely aware of the class divide and anxious that I would be found out and promptly discarded along with my daughter.
You see, I still retain a vaguely posh boarding school accent. My parents, a teacher and a retired Army Major, are stoically middle class. The majority of parents at Ella's state school think I'm posh (in the main, they don't 'speak proper like I does' despite living in Henley and they're mainly blue collar workers or can't be arsed to work). It could be misleading to someone I've just met.
However, I'm married to a plumber, I live in low rent accommodation (albeit in a very posh area) and my approach to housework is lax on a good day and fairly shocking the rest of the time.
Also, thanks to her peer group, Ella now says 'fanks' instead of 'thanks', regularly drops her Ts, favours the word 'innit' and has stopped calling me 'mummy' in favour of 'mum'. I may have slipped down the ranks somewhat since leaving school.
So, during tea with NFM I became concerned that Ella and I may soon be deemed to be decidedly NOCD ( a deplorable yet strangely amusing phrase used by Army officers' wives when assessing new aquaintances, their child's new boyfriend/girlfriend etc meaning 'Not Our Class Darling' - and by implication not to be associated with).
NFM asked that I pick Ella up from her play date slap bang in the middle of Alicia's nap time. Because Alicia, and of course I, had suffered an unusually early start that morning I explained how keen I was to stay at home so Little Liss could have her full nap so please could she send Ella home at noon.
Suspiciously, to me anyway, she offered to drop Ella off instead (it's less than a minute's walk to my house). I casually breezed 'no need to worry, I am happy for Ella to make her own way back' whilst secretly cringeing at the current disarray of my home and garden.
Unfortunately, NFM ignored my preference and turned up at my teeny tiny two bedroom bungalow with her kids and Ella.
Thank god they didn't come to the door but, horrendously, they lingered by the gate - gazing in wide eyed surprise/horror at the knee high grass on my lawn (we've been away for godsake and busy, um, very, very busy), John's white van parked outside and the rolls of old carpet dumped in next door's garden (they're in the middle of redecorating).
To quote that floppy haired chap in Four Weddings and a Funeral Oh f*ck. F*ckity f*ckity f*ck.
On the bright side, J has now mowed the lawn in a fit of shame and I have taken to sweeping the floors once a day (it used to be once a fortnight) - and am contemplating mopping them in the near future. Once I figure out where we keep the mop...
Saturday, 31 July 2010
My Girl's Seven!
On 19th July my darling eldest daughter turned seven. It's such a cliche but I can't believe how quickly she has grown up. I guess if cliches weren't so true and relevant they wouldn't be cliches as no one would say them.
She is such a kind, loving, intelligent, funny, beautiful girl. She makes my heart swell with pride.
Els had a birthday treat with me on Sunday (the day before her birthday). - pony riding at a lovely equestrian centre in Checkendon
and then three of her best gal pals over for junk food and birthday cake.
I couldn't face an actual party due to having a newborn to care for plus the fact that J had a lad's night out in London and wouldn't be around to help until noon. Anyhow, she didn't seem to mind that the celebrations were fairly low key this year.
I nearly made a hash of Nigella's Victoria Sponge recipe (oven too hot) but managed to disguise the obverly brown crust with pink buttercream icing and jelly sweets. The cake was a big hit thank god!
She opened her pressies on Monday (her birthday) before school and then her dad took her and a few friends to the Build a Bear shop in the Oracle. There are distinct advantages in having two families (two birthday celebrations, two Christmasses!).
Monday, 26 July 2010
Birthing Alicia
Hmm, my newborn is now five, nearly six, weeks old and although I've visualised myself many times blogging about her birth - and other events of the last few weeks - I haven't quite managed to act. Shame, as I've now told the story so many times I am no longer gagging to give a blow-by-blow account. However, I do want to record at least an outline of the day, or rather dayS plural, for posterity. So here goes...
I got the birth I'd hoped for. It was a lot longer than I'd imagined but I kept calm throughout, apart from a slightly panicky/'I want to give up' 20 mins towards the end (when I was probably in transition). I also dealt with the pain incredibly well considering a) it bloody hurt way more than I remembered b) I had a LOT of strong contractions over a 27 hour period - although, insultingly, I was only in 'established labour' for 10 hours c) if I stub my toe the whole world knows about it - I would consider my pain threshold to be fairly low.
Yes, not even a toot of gas and air passed my lips. Well, not till afterwards when my nether regions got aquainted with needle and thread. I put this down to the hypnobirthing course and CDs helping me to be relaxed and to deal with the pain without fear, the wonderful nurturing warmth of the birthing pool, and the amazing support of lovely hubby J and fab friend and birthing partner Sarada.
Oh, and I found that blowing on the outbreath, mooing and making low, loud 'ooooh, aahh, eeh' noises helped me cope through the contractions. Unfortunately, my voice is still not quite back to normal as I was quite vocal throughout the 27+ hours and had only just recovered from a rather persistent cold so my poor ole vocal chords took quite a bashing.
The contractions were all in my back and greatly soothed by massage, heat packs and encouraging words. Thankfully, I had a wonderful sense of time distortion which meant my one minute contractions felt like ten seconds and the two or three minute pauses in between became twenty minute rest breaks, so much so that I even fell asleep during them!
J had really set up the sitting room beautifully. He'd cleared some of the furniture to the garden shed to create space, covered the floor with cotton sheets on top of plastic sheeting, set up 12 hours of chillout music on the Ipod (which we had to replay!), inflated and filled the pool, dimmed the lights and had Roman Chamomile essential oil burning in the oil burner. Deeply relaxing.
I was often encouraged by Mary the midwife to get out of the pool and walk around to speed things up (hah!) but much preferred languishing in the warm water and trancing out in my liquid labourland. Around 3am on Thursday morning (17th June, my niece Sulis's birthday) I got out and went to the bedroom, doubled over cushions on the bed and was massaged and soothed by John through a particularly painful set of contractions. Then - at last! - my waters went with a 'pop' and I got back in the pool hugely encouraged by this sign of progress.
A few hours later I was pushing with all my might, contrary to my birth plan and the hypnobirthing exortation to 'breathe your baby out'. No way Jose. I wanted to PUSH and had no faith that breathing would get my little lady to make her entrance into the world. So push I did, and I was surprised to find that this stage was completely pain free and actually quite satisfying. I didn't even experience the 'ring of fire', just a mild stinging sensation as she crowned.
Reaching down to feel her head was a beautiful moment. I was excited and relieved that it would all be over soon. As it turned out, not as soon as I'd have liked. I was pushing hard for about an hour and Alicia was half way out with just her head and shoulders in the water for ages. Luckily, I'd watched quite a few water births on You Tube and knew that babies could hang around in the water for ages without their being any risk of drowning - they don't breathe until they're immersed in air.
So, there I was with my baby half in and half out for quite some time. I started to lose fiath that she would come out at all and in desperation asked 'can someone please just pull her out. I can't do this any more'. Mary asked me to stand up and both midwives helped me out of the pool, as I scissored my legs over the sides the rest of Alicia slid out in a gush and Mary caught her and passed her to me. My slippery little baby! I clung to her and just thought 'thank god she's finally here'.
I looked up into J's eyes and saw..abject fear. Not quite what I was expecting. I noticed the midwives' eyes had also widened in surprise and seconds later I found out why. Mary said, 'Anna, we may have to take you into hospital, you've lost more blood than we would like.' Oh, so that was the gush then. Not actually a gush but a haemorrhage. I had my baby in my arms was still in the floaty world of labourland so this turn of events didn't bother me in the slightest. J however was clearly shocked.
A quick injection in my shaking leg to help clot the blood and I was allowed to stay at home. Yay! Here we are a few minutes later...
A job well done by all!
See my previous post for pictures of Alicia looking distinctly less blue..
I got the birth I'd hoped for. It was a lot longer than I'd imagined but I kept calm throughout, apart from a slightly panicky/'I want to give up' 20 mins towards the end (when I was probably in transition). I also dealt with the pain incredibly well considering a) it bloody hurt way more than I remembered b) I had a LOT of strong contractions over a 27 hour period - although, insultingly, I was only in 'established labour' for 10 hours c) if I stub my toe the whole world knows about it - I would consider my pain threshold to be fairly low.
Yes, not even a toot of gas and air passed my lips. Well, not till afterwards when my nether regions got aquainted with needle and thread. I put this down to the hypnobirthing course and CDs helping me to be relaxed and to deal with the pain without fear, the wonderful nurturing warmth of the birthing pool, and the amazing support of lovely hubby J and fab friend and birthing partner Sarada.
Oh, and I found that blowing on the outbreath, mooing and making low, loud 'ooooh, aahh, eeh' noises helped me cope through the contractions. Unfortunately, my voice is still not quite back to normal as I was quite vocal throughout the 27+ hours and had only just recovered from a rather persistent cold so my poor ole vocal chords took quite a bashing.
The contractions were all in my back and greatly soothed by massage, heat packs and encouraging words. Thankfully, I had a wonderful sense of time distortion which meant my one minute contractions felt like ten seconds and the two or three minute pauses in between became twenty minute rest breaks, so much so that I even fell asleep during them!
J had really set up the sitting room beautifully. He'd cleared some of the furniture to the garden shed to create space, covered the floor with cotton sheets on top of plastic sheeting, set up 12 hours of chillout music on the Ipod (which we had to replay!), inflated and filled the pool, dimmed the lights and had Roman Chamomile essential oil burning in the oil burner. Deeply relaxing.
I was often encouraged by Mary the midwife to get out of the pool and walk around to speed things up (hah!) but much preferred languishing in the warm water and trancing out in my liquid labourland. Around 3am on Thursday morning (17th June, my niece Sulis's birthday) I got out and went to the bedroom, doubled over cushions on the bed and was massaged and soothed by John through a particularly painful set of contractions. Then - at last! - my waters went with a 'pop' and I got back in the pool hugely encouraged by this sign of progress.
A few hours later I was pushing with all my might, contrary to my birth plan and the hypnobirthing exortation to 'breathe your baby out'. No way Jose. I wanted to PUSH and had no faith that breathing would get my little lady to make her entrance into the world. So push I did, and I was surprised to find that this stage was completely pain free and actually quite satisfying. I didn't even experience the 'ring of fire', just a mild stinging sensation as she crowned.
Reaching down to feel her head was a beautiful moment. I was excited and relieved that it would all be over soon. As it turned out, not as soon as I'd have liked. I was pushing hard for about an hour and Alicia was half way out with just her head and shoulders in the water for ages. Luckily, I'd watched quite a few water births on You Tube and knew that babies could hang around in the water for ages without their being any risk of drowning - they don't breathe until they're immersed in air.
So, there I was with my baby half in and half out for quite some time. I started to lose fiath that she would come out at all and in desperation asked 'can someone please just pull her out. I can't do this any more'. Mary asked me to stand up and both midwives helped me out of the pool, as I scissored my legs over the sides the rest of Alicia slid out in a gush and Mary caught her and passed her to me. My slippery little baby! I clung to her and just thought 'thank god she's finally here'.
I looked up into J's eyes and saw..abject fear. Not quite what I was expecting. I noticed the midwives' eyes had also widened in surprise and seconds later I found out why. Mary said, 'Anna, we may have to take you into hospital, you've lost more blood than we would like.' Oh, so that was the gush then. Not actually a gush but a haemorrhage. I had my baby in my arms was still in the floaty world of labourland so this turn of events didn't bother me in the slightest. J however was clearly shocked.
A quick injection in my shaking leg to help clot the blood and I was allowed to stay at home. Yay! Here we are a few minutes later...
A job well done by all!
See my previous post for pictures of Alicia looking distinctly less blue..
Sunday, 4 July 2010
Alicia Lily
My gorgeous daughter, Alicia Lily Higgs, was born at 6am on 17th June at home into water. More about the birth later (it went well, no pain relief thanks to hypnobirthing and the support of my fab birth companions John and Sarada - but it was tough at times and took bloody ages!).
Here are some photos of our little angel...
with big sister Ella...
with mummy and daddy...
milk drunk...
Here are some photos of our little angel...
with big sister Ella...
with mummy and daddy...
milk drunk...
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Birth Plan
What with a strong urge to hibernate, even though I'm sleeping better at night now, and an increase in period-like twinges I think Alicia may make an appearance before the weekend.
I can't wait to meet her!
Once she's here (and I'm compos mentis enough to write a post) I thought it would be interesting to compare my hopes for the birth with the reality. So, here's my birth plan:
BIRTH PREFERENCES FOR ANNA HIGGS
GENERAL
I have SPD (Pelvic Girdle Pain), and cannot open my legs wider than hip width without discomfort.
Ideally, I plan to have a water birth at home with either no or minimal pain relief e.g. gas and air.
I have been preparing for birth with the Natal Hypnotherapy CD and ask that you use the term ‘surges’ instead of contractions and refrain from discussing pain, hurt or time predictions (ie how long I will take) as I would prefer to listen to my body and not feel under pressure to perform.
Please don’t offer medication or labour enhancing procedures unless requested or there is a danger to myself or the baby. If you think intervention is necessary, please give us half an hour to ourselves to make a decision. Please explain: How it will be helpful. What the risks are. Why you think it must be done now. What might happen if we wait another hour. What the advantages and disadvantages are. This may be a routine procedure, but please explain what other approaches there are.
FIRST STAGE
No artificial rupture of membranes. Minimal vaginal examinations – avoiding lithotomy position due to SPD.
Labour to be allowed to take its natural course without reference to ‘moving things along’ or ‘augmenting labour’. In the event of a slow/resting labour I prefer to use natural oxytocinon stimulation and to have the privacy to do so.
Encouragement to drink regularly and go to the toilet.
Please keep conversation to a minimum and where possible direct questions to my husband (especially in the more serious parts of labour) so I can focus on maintaining a calm, relaxed state. I would prefer no trivial conversation so that I can focus on birthing.
My birthing environment to have dimmed lighting, soft music and hypnobirthing CDs playing.
Minimal, intermittent hand monitoring. Help me avoid feeling observed, keeping my birthing environment calm and private with minimal people, talking and monitoring.
Encourage me to breathe quietly and rhythmically through each surge (contraction), with a long exhalation through the mouth.
Slowly say the words ‘3..2..1..relax Anna’ I have heard this so many times on the natal
hypnotherapy CD and it will trigger me to relax and breathe deeply, facilitating an easier birth.
If I request pain relief, initially please take this as a request for more emotional support and encourage me instead e.g. ‘you’re doing really well’, ‘the surge will be over soon and then you can rest’, ‘you’re strong, you can do this’ etc. If I continue to ask for pain relief despite your emotional support and encouragement, I would prefer to have gas and air and for you and/or my husband to help coach me with breathing (slow and rhythmic breathing, longer outbreaths) and massage. If I
request stronger pain relief then a minimal dose of pethidine to be administered.
I would like the freedom to have the pool temperature regulated to my own comfort, and for you to encourage me to leave and re-enter the pool in the first stage of labour as and when I wish. However, I am happy for you to check both the temperature of the water and my temperature, to make sure that I remain comfortable.
DURING BIRTHING
Again, during transition I would appreciate any additional encouragement and emotional support you can give me – reassurance that the baby’s nearly here, I’m doing well etc.
I would like to remain in the pool for waterbirthing. Please do not coach me to push as I will be using mother-directed breathing to allow the natural expulsive pulsations of the body to help the baby descend. I think I will prefer to give birth in a supported kneeling position or on all fours.
Please encourage me to reach down to feel my baby’s head when crowning.
I welcome any help/coaching you can give to ensure my perineum remains intact. Episiotomy only if necessary and use of anaesthetic for this procedure.
FOLLOWING BIRTHING
Immediate skin-to-skin contact with baby placed on my stomach or chest. No wrapping of baby.
Father to place his hand on baby’s back under warming blanket. Baby to remain with me in the pool for an hour before weighing etc. Encourage me to get baby to suckle a few times to assist with natural placenta delivery.
Cord to be clamped only after pulsation has stopped. Father to cut cord.
Allow vernix to be absorbed into baby’s skin – delay ‘cleaning or rubbing’.
No vitamin K orally or by injection.
I can't wait to meet her!
Once she's here (and I'm compos mentis enough to write a post) I thought it would be interesting to compare my hopes for the birth with the reality. So, here's my birth plan:
BIRTH PREFERENCES FOR ANNA HIGGS
GENERAL
I have SPD (Pelvic Girdle Pain), and cannot open my legs wider than hip width without discomfort.
Ideally, I plan to have a water birth at home with either no or minimal pain relief e.g. gas and air.
I have been preparing for birth with the Natal Hypnotherapy CD and ask that you use the term ‘surges’ instead of contractions and refrain from discussing pain, hurt or time predictions (ie how long I will take) as I would prefer to listen to my body and not feel under pressure to perform.
Please don’t offer medication or labour enhancing procedures unless requested or there is a danger to myself or the baby. If you think intervention is necessary, please give us half an hour to ourselves to make a decision. Please explain: How it will be helpful. What the risks are. Why you think it must be done now. What might happen if we wait another hour. What the advantages and disadvantages are. This may be a routine procedure, but please explain what other approaches there are.
FIRST STAGE
No artificial rupture of membranes. Minimal vaginal examinations – avoiding lithotomy position due to SPD.
Labour to be allowed to take its natural course without reference to ‘moving things along’ or ‘augmenting labour’. In the event of a slow/resting labour I prefer to use natural oxytocinon stimulation and to have the privacy to do so.
Encouragement to drink regularly and go to the toilet.
Please keep conversation to a minimum and where possible direct questions to my husband (especially in the more serious parts of labour) so I can focus on maintaining a calm, relaxed state. I would prefer no trivial conversation so that I can focus on birthing.
My birthing environment to have dimmed lighting, soft music and hypnobirthing CDs playing.
Minimal, intermittent hand monitoring. Help me avoid feeling observed, keeping my birthing environment calm and private with minimal people, talking and monitoring.
Encourage me to breathe quietly and rhythmically through each surge (contraction), with a long exhalation through the mouth.
Slowly say the words ‘3..2..1..relax Anna’ I have heard this so many times on the natal
hypnotherapy CD and it will trigger me to relax and breathe deeply, facilitating an easier birth.
If I request pain relief, initially please take this as a request for more emotional support and encourage me instead e.g. ‘you’re doing really well’, ‘the surge will be over soon and then you can rest’, ‘you’re strong, you can do this’ etc. If I continue to ask for pain relief despite your emotional support and encouragement, I would prefer to have gas and air and for you and/or my husband to help coach me with breathing (slow and rhythmic breathing, longer outbreaths) and massage. If I
request stronger pain relief then a minimal dose of pethidine to be administered.
I would like the freedom to have the pool temperature regulated to my own comfort, and for you to encourage me to leave and re-enter the pool in the first stage of labour as and when I wish. However, I am happy for you to check both the temperature of the water and my temperature, to make sure that I remain comfortable.
DURING BIRTHING
Again, during transition I would appreciate any additional encouragement and emotional support you can give me – reassurance that the baby’s nearly here, I’m doing well etc.
I would like to remain in the pool for waterbirthing. Please do not coach me to push as I will be using mother-directed breathing to allow the natural expulsive pulsations of the body to help the baby descend. I think I will prefer to give birth in a supported kneeling position or on all fours.
Please encourage me to reach down to feel my baby’s head when crowning.
I welcome any help/coaching you can give to ensure my perineum remains intact. Episiotomy only if necessary and use of anaesthetic for this procedure.
FOLLOWING BIRTHING
Immediate skin-to-skin contact with baby placed on my stomach or chest. No wrapping of baby.
Father to place his hand on baby’s back under warming blanket. Baby to remain with me in the pool for an hour before weighing etc. Encourage me to get baby to suckle a few times to assist with natural placenta delivery.
Cord to be clamped only after pulsation has stopped. Father to cut cord.
Allow vernix to be absorbed into baby’s skin – delay ‘cleaning or rubbing’.
No vitamin K orally or by injection.
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
Elephant Feet
My feet and ankles have really puffed up in the last few days. On Friday, when it was really hot, I looked as if I had elephantitis! Thank god for my Bite flip flops - they have adjustable uppers which have saved me from being completely housebound. There's no way I could cram my feet into anything else at the moment.
I've been having insomnia at night and craving naps in the day. Now that half term is over I fully intend to embrace my new nocturnalism when necessary. Bless her, Ella was a star yesterday. She had an Inset day so was at home with me. I had hardly slept the previous night and was dead on my feet.
She plonked herself in front of the TV and said she didn't mind have a relaxing day, let me snooze on the sofa and even brought me a drink. Such a sweetie! It was only when her dad came to collect her after 3pm I realised that all we'd had for lunch was a bowl each of natural yoghurt and blueberries (made by Ella). Oops! I'm sure he'd have given her a hearty dinner.
Only a few days to go until my due date. I look fit to burst, although I think Alicia may make her grand appearance closer to father's day (20th) than her due date (10th). For the moment, I'm content to potter round the house, enjoy the sunshine and calmly wait. I would love it if she proves me wrong though!
I've been having insomnia at night and craving naps in the day. Now that half term is over I fully intend to embrace my new nocturnalism when necessary. Bless her, Ella was a star yesterday. She had an Inset day so was at home with me. I had hardly slept the previous night and was dead on my feet.
She plonked herself in front of the TV and said she didn't mind have a relaxing day, let me snooze on the sofa and even brought me a drink. Such a sweetie! It was only when her dad came to collect her after 3pm I realised that all we'd had for lunch was a bowl each of natural yoghurt and blueberries (made by Ella). Oops! I'm sure he'd have given her a hearty dinner.
Only a few days to go until my due date. I look fit to burst, although I think Alicia may make her grand appearance closer to father's day (20th) than her due date (10th). For the moment, I'm content to potter round the house, enjoy the sunshine and calmly wait. I would love it if she proves me wrong though!
Thursday, 3 June 2010
Bella May
I have a new niece!
Bella Mae Holford finally popped out two weeks after her due date on 31st May. I am so proud of Jules because she managed to avoid intervention and stuck with just gas and air despite a fairly long labour and some complications such as meconium in the water. She stuck to her guns and insisted on being left to it as much as possible, and finally got the natural birth she deserves.
Here's Bella with big sister Sulis:
and with Granny (my sister, Jules, in the background):
snoozing in the garden:
having a cuddle with mum:
Like me, Jules' first birthing experience was fairly medicalised and scary. I have faith that I can have a similarly satisfying experience second time around. I'm much better prepared this time, having done a hypnobirthing course with John and diligently listening to the hypnobirthing and natal hypnotherapy CD which prepares you mentally for being able to cope well with birth - Jules listened to it too and really thinks it helped.
I prefer the natal hypnotherapy CD as the affirmations make sense to me, it encourages me to practice my breathing (long outbreath, in through the nose and out through the mouth) and the guided beach meditation is so relaxing that I usually end up snoozing through it (luckily it still works if you're asleep!).
I've also read a few books which have convinced me that childbirth doesn't have to be an ordeal:
Childbirth without Fear,
Hypnobirthing
Birthing from Within
These books have also equipped me with the confidence to recognise when certain medical interventions are unnecessary and how to refuse procedures when appropriate to avoid the 'cycle of intervention' (when one medical procedure leads to another and another..increasing the risk of forceps or caesaraean delivery which could have been avoided). They aren't dogmatic though, and I realise that certain procedures in specificn situations may well be helpful. So I will go into boirth with an open mind...
I'm crossing my fingers that Alicia Lily is more punctual than her cousin. I'm due in a week and I'm so keen to meet her. To avoid Jules' agonising, frustrating wait for her new baby I'm telling myself and others that "My due date is 10th June so I'm expecting to drop any time from 10th to 24th June". Or when I'm feeling particularly laissez-faire "I'm due sometime this month".
I'm so keen to meet Bella but unsure about making the 3-4 hour roundtrip when so heavily pregnant. I popped into Reading today, a 20 minute drive away, got measured for a nursing bra, went into H&M for some cute (and brilliantly cheap) baby clothes, stopped for a drink at a cafe and then drove back home. I was completely knackered after that. My SPD/Pelvic Girdle Pain really kicked in during my gentle waddle through the Oracle - despite wearing my tubigrip - so I'm now staggering about the house like an old granny.
Luckily, my lovely sister has told me to stay put this weekend and that they'll come and visit me in a few weeks' time to show off Bella and meet Alicia.
Bella Mae Holford finally popped out two weeks after her due date on 31st May. I am so proud of Jules because she managed to avoid intervention and stuck with just gas and air despite a fairly long labour and some complications such as meconium in the water. She stuck to her guns and insisted on being left to it as much as possible, and finally got the natural birth she deserves.
Here's Bella with big sister Sulis:
and with Granny (my sister, Jules, in the background):
snoozing in the garden:
having a cuddle with mum:
Like me, Jules' first birthing experience was fairly medicalised and scary. I have faith that I can have a similarly satisfying experience second time around. I'm much better prepared this time, having done a hypnobirthing course with John and diligently listening to the hypnobirthing and natal hypnotherapy CD which prepares you mentally for being able to cope well with birth - Jules listened to it too and really thinks it helped.
I prefer the natal hypnotherapy CD as the affirmations make sense to me, it encourages me to practice my breathing (long outbreath, in through the nose and out through the mouth) and the guided beach meditation is so relaxing that I usually end up snoozing through it (luckily it still works if you're asleep!).
I've also read a few books which have convinced me that childbirth doesn't have to be an ordeal:
Childbirth without Fear,
Hypnobirthing
Birthing from Within
These books have also equipped me with the confidence to recognise when certain medical interventions are unnecessary and how to refuse procedures when appropriate to avoid the 'cycle of intervention' (when one medical procedure leads to another and another..increasing the risk of forceps or caesaraean delivery which could have been avoided). They aren't dogmatic though, and I realise that certain procedures in specificn situations may well be helpful. So I will go into boirth with an open mind...
I'm crossing my fingers that Alicia Lily is more punctual than her cousin. I'm due in a week and I'm so keen to meet her. To avoid Jules' agonising, frustrating wait for her new baby I'm telling myself and others that "My due date is 10th June so I'm expecting to drop any time from 10th to 24th June". Or when I'm feeling particularly laissez-faire "I'm due sometime this month".
I'm so keen to meet Bella but unsure about making the 3-4 hour roundtrip when so heavily pregnant. I popped into Reading today, a 20 minute drive away, got measured for a nursing bra, went into H&M for some cute (and brilliantly cheap) baby clothes, stopped for a drink at a cafe and then drove back home. I was completely knackered after that. My SPD/Pelvic Girdle Pain really kicked in during my gentle waddle through the Oracle - despite wearing my tubigrip - so I'm now staggering about the house like an old granny.
Luckily, my lovely sister has told me to stay put this weekend and that they'll come and visit me in a few weeks' time to show off Bella and meet Alicia.
Monday, 26 April 2010
Things You May Not Know About Me
Hari at Thank you for the days has tagged me with 'I bet you didn't know..'. I need to write a list of things you may not know about me. OK, brace yourselves. Here goes...
1. I once jumped 10,000 feet out of a perfectly good Cessna with a fifteen stone man strapped to my back
2. One of the things I'm most proud of is that I started my own free festival, Come Together, in my beloved home town of Henley-on-Thames. People said it couldn't be done, so I did it with no prior experience and no cash - just a vision of providing 'fun for free' for all the different types of people in the area (rich, poor, young, old) and a willing bunch of friends who helped get it off the ground.
It ran for 5 years as a self-funded event, we didn't make any money from it (purposely) and attracted thousands of revellers - one year I even spotted Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page and Robert Plant in the crowd.
3. I appeared on Blockbusters aged seventeen. I wore my Slayer T-shirt (thrash metal band) and had my nose pierced and my hair was dyed black. I was paired with another girl from my school who wore a jumper with a picture of a sheep on it. I would dearly love to still own a copy of that show. We must have looked a picture ;-)
4. I once saved a little boy's life. I was eight years old and noticed the boy walking down steps into a pool. I looked for his parents as I had a funny feeling that something bad was going to happen. They were canoodling in the shallow end nearby but not paying any attention. In seconds, the boy was floating towards me, unmoving, face down in the water. I picked him up, put him back on the step and patted his mum on the back and pointed at her crying son. I didn't tell anyone exactly what had happened as I was worried they wouldn't believe me and would somehow think it had been my fault.
5. I was chased by a baby giraffe and hid in someone's house to get away from it (they were out, so my mum told me off afterwards. But what was I to do?). It was terrifying. I was living on a small game reserve in Zimbabwe at the time BTW. Oh, and we didn't go to school or have any home schooling for six months. Just played and had adventures all day. It was bliss.
6. I went to boarding school from the age of ten, when I had to fly from Germany to the UK with just my little brother for company (with a bit of help from a volunteer lady who escorted minors onto planes). I LOVED boarding school.
7. When I was thirteen, I got suspended from school for a month. A week after my return, I got expelled. I wasn't sorry. It was a Roman Catholic school and we had to say 'Hail Mary' twice a day by the statue of the Virgin Mary amnd go to a full mass once a week whatever our religious beliefs or lack therof. The school was run by misogynistic jesuits. The headmaster used to be a millionaire and had given it all up to become a priest. He was an alcoholic and used to wander around the school pissed with a harris hawk on his shoulder (yes, a real live one)
8. In my twenties I achieved Size Eight status. It was marvellous and I still had boobs...
9. I was once hypnotised in Reading train station against my will. Really.
10. I smoked pot every day for over fifteen years. At one point I was such a pot head that I would have a spliff as soon as I'd woken up - before my morning cup of tea. Even on a working day. Actually, that's a lie - it wasn't a spliff it was a huge bong. After years of trying, I finally kicked the habit thanks to Patrick Holford's fabulous book How to Quit Without Feeling S**t which covers every addiction from sugar through to heroin.
11. I have lived, and loved, in Henley for nearly twenty years. Once, I was in my local pub with a girl friend when she asked 'Is it just me, or is this pub full of your ex-boyfriends?'. On closer inspection of the 12 or so punters, I discovered that I had indeed dated EVERYONE in the pub.
12. I have nice straight teeth. This wasn't always the case. I had years of train track braces and horrendous-looking orthodontic headgear which I only wore at night depsite my dentist's advice to the contrary. No way was I wearing that in front of boys!
13. I used to speak French quite well and could watch French films without subtitles and understand them (sadly this is no longer the case). I also used to study Latin and nearly did it for GCSE.
14. I am a course/workshop junkie. I love trying new things. Workshops/courses I have done include: djembe hand drumming, yoga, tai chi, jewellery making, salsa, ceroc, krump, bellydancing, massage, Reiki, Pranic healing, shiatsu...
15. I used to be a keen chorister at school and achieved Grade 5 RSA singing. I would have gone to Grade 8 but I couldn't get my head around music theory as I didn't play an instrument at the time. I've sung solo in front of hundreds of people.
16. I am a PADI Rescue Diver and have scuba dived with sharks (small reef ones mind you, I'm not that brave) and dived shipwrecks in UK, Wales and the Red Sea.
17. I declined my school's recommendation that I sit the Oxbridge exams (admissions for Oxford and Cambridge universities) when I found out how much work would be involved (lots. I never ended up going to university, instead choosing to be a waitress live a life of hedonism for three years (not much different from going to Uni then).
18. Before I die I would like to: go whale watching, see the Northern Lights, become a better mother, wife and friend, make a difference.
1. I once jumped 10,000 feet out of a perfectly good Cessna with a fifteen stone man strapped to my back
2. One of the things I'm most proud of is that I started my own free festival, Come Together, in my beloved home town of Henley-on-Thames. People said it couldn't be done, so I did it with no prior experience and no cash - just a vision of providing 'fun for free' for all the different types of people in the area (rich, poor, young, old) and a willing bunch of friends who helped get it off the ground.
It ran for 5 years as a self-funded event, we didn't make any money from it (purposely) and attracted thousands of revellers - one year I even spotted Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page and Robert Plant in the crowd.
3. I appeared on Blockbusters aged seventeen. I wore my Slayer T-shirt (thrash metal band) and had my nose pierced and my hair was dyed black. I was paired with another girl from my school who wore a jumper with a picture of a sheep on it. I would dearly love to still own a copy of that show. We must have looked a picture ;-)
4. I once saved a little boy's life. I was eight years old and noticed the boy walking down steps into a pool. I looked for his parents as I had a funny feeling that something bad was going to happen. They were canoodling in the shallow end nearby but not paying any attention. In seconds, the boy was floating towards me, unmoving, face down in the water. I picked him up, put him back on the step and patted his mum on the back and pointed at her crying son. I didn't tell anyone exactly what had happened as I was worried they wouldn't believe me and would somehow think it had been my fault.
5. I was chased by a baby giraffe and hid in someone's house to get away from it (they were out, so my mum told me off afterwards. But what was I to do?). It was terrifying. I was living on a small game reserve in Zimbabwe at the time BTW. Oh, and we didn't go to school or have any home schooling for six months. Just played and had adventures all day. It was bliss.
6. I went to boarding school from the age of ten, when I had to fly from Germany to the UK with just my little brother for company (with a bit of help from a volunteer lady who escorted minors onto planes). I LOVED boarding school.
7. When I was thirteen, I got suspended from school for a month. A week after my return, I got expelled. I wasn't sorry. It was a Roman Catholic school and we had to say 'Hail Mary' twice a day by the statue of the Virgin Mary amnd go to a full mass once a week whatever our religious beliefs or lack therof. The school was run by misogynistic jesuits. The headmaster used to be a millionaire and had given it all up to become a priest. He was an alcoholic and used to wander around the school pissed with a harris hawk on his shoulder (yes, a real live one)
8. In my twenties I achieved Size Eight status. It was marvellous and I still had boobs.
9. I was once hypnotised in Reading train station against my will. Really.
10. I smoked pot every day for over fifteen years. At one point I was such a pot head that I would have a spliff as soon as I'd woken up - before my morning cup of tea. Even on a working day. Actually, that's a lie - it wasn't a spliff it was a huge bong. After years of trying, I finally kicked the habit thanks to Patrick Holford's fabulous book How to Quit Without Feeling S**t which covers every addiction from sugar through to heroin.
11. I have lived, and loved, in Henley for nearly twenty years. Once, I was in my local pub with a girl friend when she asked 'Is it just me, or is this pub full of your ex-boyfriends?'. On closer inspection of the 12 or so punters, I discovered that I had indeed dated EVERYONE in the pub.
12. I have nice straight teeth. This wasn't always the case. I had years of train track braces and horrendous-looking orthodontic headgear which I only wore at night depsite my dentist's advice to the contrary. No way was I wearing that in front of boys!
13. I used to speak French quite well and could watch French films without subtitles and understand them (sadly this is no longer the case). I also used to study Latin and nearly did it for GCSE.
14. I am a course/workshop junkie. I love trying new things. Workshops/courses I have done include: djembe hand drumming, yoga, tai chi, jewellery making, salsa, ceroc, krump, bellydancing, massage, Reiki, Pranic healing, shiatsu...
15. I used to be a keen chorister at school and achieved Grade 5 RSA singing. I would have gone to Grade 8 but I couldn't get my head around music theory as I didn't play an instrument at the time. I've sung solo in front of hundreds of people.
16. I am a PADI Rescue Diver and have scuba dived with sharks (small reef ones mind you, I'm not that brave) and dived shipwrecks in UK, Wales and the Red Sea.
17. I declined my school's recommendation that I sit the Oxbridge exams (admissions for Oxford and Cambridge universities) when I found out how much work would be involved (lots. I never ended up going to university, instead choosing to be a waitress live a life of hedonism for three years (not much different from going to Uni then).
18. Before I die I would like to: go whale watching, see the Northern Lights, become a better mother, wife and friend, make a difference.
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Baby Shower and Water Birth
I got together with some of my favourite fabulous females yesterday who threw a Baby Shower (my first!) for me. The sun shone, we ate Greek Meze al fresco and spent a relaxing afternoon in each other's company.
I always feel that girlie gatherings are particularly good for the soul. They remind me how lucky I am to have such kind, caring, interesting people in my life.
The impending arrival (only 6 weeks to go!) of Alicia Lily (yes, we have decided on a name. And it's pronounced 'alisseeya' not 'aleesha' BTW) was celebrated in style and both she and I were truly spoiled with lovely gifts including a Wilkinet baby carrier.
Wilkinets supposedly take a bit of getting used to at first as there's a special way to tie them, but they come highly recommended from several friends for their versatility and comfort for mum/dad and baby. Plus they hold the baby in an optimum position for their spine, as well as taking the weight off your own shoulders and back. I'm looking forward to practising my tying technique with El's Baby Annabel!
I start my maternity leave on 10th June - 4 weeks before my due date. I was intending to work till 2 weeks before, but am finding my memory and concentration dwindling and my thoughts turning more and more to babies, stuff I need to by for baby, things I need to do before baby arrives etc.
After a good hour (or more) of idle surfing the other day I'd nearly talked myself into buying one of these instead of a moses basket. As fab as they sound, I figure that I'd be making a rod for my own back though if Alicia has 6-9 months of being able to rock herself to sleep I can't imagine how nightmarish the transition to a cot would be.
My usually eclectic mix of books 'on the go' (I often flit between 3 or 4 fiction and non-fiction books on various subjects in the same month until I've finished them all, then don't read for a week or so and then repeat the process) has now been reduced to Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Gentle First Year. I love the approach of both, they're quite inspiring.
I'm particularly keen on Gentle First Year's recommendation to get your partner to massage you daily with Rose oil for four weeks post partum (to stave off the 'baby blues' and promote healing), after which you can take over the job yourself. Hmm. As lovely as he is, I am hard pushed to get even a five minute foot rub off J more than once a month.
I'm being a good girl and listening to my natal hypnotherapy CD pretty much every day which is making me feel optimistic that this time my birthing experience can be calm, powerful and within my pain threshold. I was pretty shaken after Ella's birth and felt quite cheated that I had been induced and not supported to 'do it properly' (my feelings at the time, not now).
Thanks to some 'healing past birth trauma' work with my hypnotherapist friend Hari - writer of the hilarious blog Thank you for the Days - a great hypnobirthing course which has also really given J confidence that he can support me in labour and, of course, the CD I just mentioned I'm hopeful that I will have the relaxed water birth at home that I would really love.
Check out these testimonials if you're sceptical that birth can be satisying and not agonising. Oh, and cross your fingers for me please!
Gratuitous Bump Shot:
I always feel that girlie gatherings are particularly good for the soul. They remind me how lucky I am to have such kind, caring, interesting people in my life.
The impending arrival (only 6 weeks to go!) of Alicia Lily (yes, we have decided on a name. And it's pronounced 'alisseeya' not 'aleesha' BTW) was celebrated in style and both she and I were truly spoiled with lovely gifts including a Wilkinet baby carrier.
Wilkinets supposedly take a bit of getting used to at first as there's a special way to tie them, but they come highly recommended from several friends for their versatility and comfort for mum/dad and baby. Plus they hold the baby in an optimum position for their spine, as well as taking the weight off your own shoulders and back. I'm looking forward to practising my tying technique with El's Baby Annabel!
I start my maternity leave on 10th June - 4 weeks before my due date. I was intending to work till 2 weeks before, but am finding my memory and concentration dwindling and my thoughts turning more and more to babies, stuff I need to by for baby, things I need to do before baby arrives etc.
After a good hour (or more) of idle surfing the other day I'd nearly talked myself into buying one of these instead of a moses basket. As fab as they sound, I figure that I'd be making a rod for my own back though if Alicia has 6-9 months of being able to rock herself to sleep I can't imagine how nightmarish the transition to a cot would be
My usually eclectic mix of books 'on the go' (I often flit between 3 or 4 fiction and non-fiction books on various subjects in the same month until I've finished them all, then don't read for a week or so and then repeat the process) has now been reduced to Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Gentle First Year. I love the approach of both, they're quite inspiring.
I'm particularly keen on Gentle First Year's recommendation to get your partner to massage you daily with Rose oil for four weeks post partum (to stave off the 'baby blues' and promote healing), after which you can take over the job yourself. Hmm. As lovely as he is, I am hard pushed to get even a five minute foot rub off J more than once a month.
I'm being a good girl and listening to my natal hypnotherapy CD pretty much every day which is making me feel optimistic that this time my birthing experience can be calm, powerful and within my pain threshold. I was pretty shaken after Ella's birth and felt quite cheated that I had been induced and not supported to 'do it properly' (my feelings at the time, not now).
Thanks to some 'healing past birth trauma' work with my hypnotherapist friend Hari - writer of the hilarious blog Thank you for the Days - a great hypnobirthing course which has also really given J confidence that he can support me in labour and, of course, the CD I just mentioned I'm hopeful that I will have the relaxed water birth at home that I would really love.
Check out these testimonials if you're sceptical that birth can be satisying and not agonising. Oh, and cross your fingers for me please!
Gratuitous Bump Shot:
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
