Haven't posted for a while. Alicia's 3 week long nighttime coughing fits peaked a few days ago and left me a frail husk of my former self. I was ill without actually being ill. Ill from lack of sleep. Barely able to boot up my lappy.
Alicia was completely fine during the day, she'd wake up with a choking cough around 2am and not really settle afterwards. Luckily, three nights of garlic socks and a few drops of echinacea in orange juice (vit c helps it work more effectively)three times a day has ended the ordeal for us all.
I have a lot going on at the moment, or I'm about to anyway. I'm talking to my boss tomorrow about starting work. My plan is to squeeze in a few hours a day when Alicia naps - with the possibility of doing more on the weekend if needed. This is all because I can't bear to leave her with a childminder just yet.
I'm sure I can find someone to take good care of her. It's just that I want her to be loved, kissed, cuddled and tickled all day long too. Something a paid professional may not do. After all, they get paid to care not to love. A subtle difference but to me a huge one when Lissy's only 7 months.
I'm also about to start my home study course to become a hypnobirthing practitioner. I have always wanted to have a job or hobby that enables me to make a difference - to improve the world in a small way. I think, I hope, that this new venture will tick that box for me.
I'm passionate about helping other women give birth without fear, which is exactly what hypnobirthing did for me. It's something I should be able to easily fit around my day job and my family. I plan to do a one day course each month to start off and see how it goes from there. My sis is doing the training too so we will be study buddies and help to motivate each other when we start designing and running the courses. Watch this space ;-)
My other short term aims are to really focus on moving my body every day (yoga, walking) and to listen to my body more around food. I am in the grip of chocoholism at the moment and have a disturbing propensity to eat and eat and eat - totally ignoring the fact that I'm full. Food for a treat, for entertainment, out of habit, in lieu of alcohol, fags and other naughties...I want to learn to eat from hunger instead. The good old fashioned way.
Which sparks me to answer Notes to Self Plus Two's McLinky thing (which I missed due to extreme sleep deprivation and general malaise): 'What do you want for you in 2011?':
1. To have a firm, fit, healthy body I'm proud of. Translates into - get back to 9 stone by May and look good in shorts this summer.
2. To make more money. Shallow, yes. I want to buy a house in a year or two. A 3 bed one, ideally with a study or dining room where I can work from. We love living in this idyllic village but our rented 2 bed bungalow is a bit of a tight fit now there's four of us. I dream of buying one of the big houses down the road. But the 3 beds here are around £430K way, way out of our league. At the moment anyway. Just until I come up with my Plan For Affluence.
3. To be a brighter light. I have a sun tattoo on my arm, partly because as a Leo that's my birth planet but mainly to remind me to be the source of warmth, happiness, inspiration and light in my own and others' lives. I want to start fulfilling this - be a better wife, mother, friend. Spread more happiness and love in my corner of the world. Make a difference. Light up peoples' lives - especially my loved ones'.
Showing posts with label hypnobirthing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hypnobirthing. Show all posts
Friday, 21 January 2011
Monday, 26 July 2010
Birthing Alicia
Hmm, my newborn is now five, nearly six, weeks old and although I've visualised myself many times blogging about her birth - and other events of the last few weeks - I haven't quite managed to act. Shame, as I've now told the story so many times I am no longer gagging to give a blow-by-blow account. However, I do want to record at least an outline of the day, or rather dayS plural, for posterity. So here goes...
I got the birth I'd hoped for. It was a lot longer than I'd imagined but I kept calm throughout, apart from a slightly panicky/'I want to give up' 20 mins towards the end (when I was probably in transition). I also dealt with the pain incredibly well considering a) it bloody hurt way more than I remembered b) I had a LOT of strong contractions over a 27 hour period - although, insultingly, I was only in 'established labour' for 10 hours c) if I stub my toe the whole world knows about it - I would consider my pain threshold to be fairly low.
Yes, not even a toot of gas and air passed my lips. Well, not till afterwards when my nether regions got aquainted with needle and thread. I put this down to the hypnobirthing course and CDs helping me to be relaxed and to deal with the pain without fear, the wonderful nurturing warmth of the birthing pool, and the amazing support of lovely hubby J and fab friend and birthing partner Sarada.
Oh, and I found that blowing on the outbreath, mooing and making low, loud 'ooooh, aahh, eeh' noises helped me cope through the contractions. Unfortunately, my voice is still not quite back to normal as I was quite vocal throughout the 27+ hours and had only just recovered from a rather persistent cold so my poor ole vocal chords took quite a bashing.
The contractions were all in my back and greatly soothed by massage, heat packs and encouraging words. Thankfully, I had a wonderful sense of time distortion which meant my one minute contractions felt like ten seconds and the two or three minute pauses in between became twenty minute rest breaks, so much so that I even fell asleep during them!
J had really set up the sitting room beautifully. He'd cleared some of the furniture to the garden shed to create space, covered the floor with cotton sheets on top of plastic sheeting, set up 12 hours of chillout music on the Ipod (which we had to replay!), inflated and filled the pool, dimmed the lights and had Roman Chamomile essential oil burning in the oil burner. Deeply relaxing.
I was often encouraged by Mary the midwife to get out of the pool and walk around to speed things up (hah!) but much preferred languishing in the warm water and trancing out in my liquid labourland. Around 3am on Thursday morning (17th June, my niece Sulis's birthday) I got out and went to the bedroom, doubled over cushions on the bed and was massaged and soothed by John through a particularly painful set of contractions. Then - at last! - my waters went with a 'pop' and I got back in the pool hugely encouraged by this sign of progress.
A few hours later I was pushing with all my might, contrary to my birth plan and the hypnobirthing exortation to 'breathe your baby out'. No way Jose. I wanted to PUSH and had no faith that breathing would get my little lady to make her entrance into the world. So push I did, and I was surprised to find that this stage was completely pain free and actually quite satisfying. I didn't even experience the 'ring of fire', just a mild stinging sensation as she crowned.
Reaching down to feel her head was a beautiful moment. I was excited and relieved that it would all be over soon. As it turned out, not as soon as I'd have liked. I was pushing hard for about an hour and Alicia was half way out with just her head and shoulders in the water for ages. Luckily, I'd watched quite a few water births on You Tube and knew that babies could hang around in the water for ages without their being any risk of drowning - they don't breathe until they're immersed in air.
So, there I was with my baby half in and half out for quite some time. I started to lose fiath that she would come out at all and in desperation asked 'can someone please just pull her out. I can't do this any more'. Mary asked me to stand up and both midwives helped me out of the pool, as I scissored my legs over the sides the rest of Alicia slid out in a gush and Mary caught her and passed her to me. My slippery little baby! I clung to her and just thought 'thank god she's finally here'.
I looked up into J's eyes and saw..abject fear. Not quite what I was expecting. I noticed the midwives' eyes had also widened in surprise and seconds later I found out why. Mary said, 'Anna, we may have to take you into hospital, you've lost more blood than we would like.' Oh, so that was the gush then. Not actually a gush but a haemorrhage. I had my baby in my arms was still in the floaty world of labourland so this turn of events didn't bother me in the slightest. J however was clearly shocked.
A quick injection in my shaking leg to help clot the blood and I was allowed to stay at home. Yay! Here we are a few minutes later...
A job well done by all!
See my previous post for pictures of Alicia looking distinctly less blue..
I got the birth I'd hoped for. It was a lot longer than I'd imagined but I kept calm throughout, apart from a slightly panicky/'I want to give up' 20 mins towards the end (when I was probably in transition). I also dealt with the pain incredibly well considering a) it bloody hurt way more than I remembered b) I had a LOT of strong contractions over a 27 hour period - although, insultingly, I was only in 'established labour' for 10 hours c) if I stub my toe the whole world knows about it - I would consider my pain threshold to be fairly low.
Yes, not even a toot of gas and air passed my lips. Well, not till afterwards when my nether regions got aquainted with needle and thread. I put this down to the hypnobirthing course and CDs helping me to be relaxed and to deal with the pain without fear, the wonderful nurturing warmth of the birthing pool, and the amazing support of lovely hubby J and fab friend and birthing partner Sarada.
Oh, and I found that blowing on the outbreath, mooing and making low, loud 'ooooh, aahh, eeh' noises helped me cope through the contractions. Unfortunately, my voice is still not quite back to normal as I was quite vocal throughout the 27+ hours and had only just recovered from a rather persistent cold so my poor ole vocal chords took quite a bashing.
The contractions were all in my back and greatly soothed by massage, heat packs and encouraging words. Thankfully, I had a wonderful sense of time distortion which meant my one minute contractions felt like ten seconds and the two or three minute pauses in between became twenty minute rest breaks, so much so that I even fell asleep during them!
J had really set up the sitting room beautifully. He'd cleared some of the furniture to the garden shed to create space, covered the floor with cotton sheets on top of plastic sheeting, set up 12 hours of chillout music on the Ipod (which we had to replay!), inflated and filled the pool, dimmed the lights and had Roman Chamomile essential oil burning in the oil burner. Deeply relaxing.
I was often encouraged by Mary the midwife to get out of the pool and walk around to speed things up (hah!) but much preferred languishing in the warm water and trancing out in my liquid labourland. Around 3am on Thursday morning (17th June, my niece Sulis's birthday) I got out and went to the bedroom, doubled over cushions on the bed and was massaged and soothed by John through a particularly painful set of contractions. Then - at last! - my waters went with a 'pop' and I got back in the pool hugely encouraged by this sign of progress.
A few hours later I was pushing with all my might, contrary to my birth plan and the hypnobirthing exortation to 'breathe your baby out'. No way Jose. I wanted to PUSH and had no faith that breathing would get my little lady to make her entrance into the world. So push I did, and I was surprised to find that this stage was completely pain free and actually quite satisfying. I didn't even experience the 'ring of fire', just a mild stinging sensation as she crowned.
Reaching down to feel her head was a beautiful moment. I was excited and relieved that it would all be over soon. As it turned out, not as soon as I'd have liked. I was pushing hard for about an hour and Alicia was half way out with just her head and shoulders in the water for ages. Luckily, I'd watched quite a few water births on You Tube and knew that babies could hang around in the water for ages without their being any risk of drowning - they don't breathe until they're immersed in air.
So, there I was with my baby half in and half out for quite some time. I started to lose fiath that she would come out at all and in desperation asked 'can someone please just pull her out. I can't do this any more'. Mary asked me to stand up and both midwives helped me out of the pool, as I scissored my legs over the sides the rest of Alicia slid out in a gush and Mary caught her and passed her to me. My slippery little baby! I clung to her and just thought 'thank god she's finally here'.
I looked up into J's eyes and saw..abject fear. Not quite what I was expecting. I noticed the midwives' eyes had also widened in surprise and seconds later I found out why. Mary said, 'Anna, we may have to take you into hospital, you've lost more blood than we would like.' Oh, so that was the gush then. Not actually a gush but a haemorrhage. I had my baby in my arms was still in the floaty world of labourland so this turn of events didn't bother me in the slightest. J however was clearly shocked.
A quick injection in my shaking leg to help clot the blood and I was allowed to stay at home. Yay! Here we are a few minutes later...
A job well done by all!
See my previous post for pictures of Alicia looking distinctly less blue..
Thursday, 3 June 2010
Bella May
I have a new niece!
Bella Mae Holford finally popped out two weeks after her due date on 31st May. I am so proud of Jules because she managed to avoid intervention and stuck with just gas and air despite a fairly long labour and some complications such as meconium in the water. She stuck to her guns and insisted on being left to it as much as possible, and finally got the natural birth she deserves.
Here's Bella with big sister Sulis:
and with Granny (my sister, Jules, in the background):
snoozing in the garden:
having a cuddle with mum:
Like me, Jules' first birthing experience was fairly medicalised and scary. I have faith that I can have a similarly satisfying experience second time around. I'm much better prepared this time, having done a hypnobirthing course with John and diligently listening to the hypnobirthing and natal hypnotherapy CD which prepares you mentally for being able to cope well with birth - Jules listened to it too and really thinks it helped.
I prefer the natal hypnotherapy CD as the affirmations make sense to me, it encourages me to practice my breathing (long outbreath, in through the nose and out through the mouth) and the guided beach meditation is so relaxing that I usually end up snoozing through it (luckily it still works if you're asleep!).
I've also read a few books which have convinced me that childbirth doesn't have to be an ordeal:
Childbirth without Fear,
Hypnobirthing
Birthing from Within
These books have also equipped me with the confidence to recognise when certain medical interventions are unnecessary and how to refuse procedures when appropriate to avoid the 'cycle of intervention' (when one medical procedure leads to another and another..increasing the risk of forceps or caesaraean delivery which could have been avoided). They aren't dogmatic though, and I realise that certain procedures in specificn situations may well be helpful. So I will go into boirth with an open mind...
I'm crossing my fingers that Alicia Lily is more punctual than her cousin. I'm due in a week and I'm so keen to meet her. To avoid Jules' agonising, frustrating wait for her new baby I'm telling myself and others that "My due date is 10th June so I'm expecting to drop any time from 10th to 24th June". Or when I'm feeling particularly laissez-faire "I'm due sometime this month".
I'm so keen to meet Bella but unsure about making the 3-4 hour roundtrip when so heavily pregnant. I popped into Reading today, a 20 minute drive away, got measured for a nursing bra, went into H&M for some cute (and brilliantly cheap) baby clothes, stopped for a drink at a cafe and then drove back home. I was completely knackered after that. My SPD/Pelvic Girdle Pain really kicked in during my gentle waddle through the Oracle - despite wearing my tubigrip - so I'm now staggering about the house like an old granny.
Luckily, my lovely sister has told me to stay put this weekend and that they'll come and visit me in a few weeks' time to show off Bella and meet Alicia.
Bella Mae Holford finally popped out two weeks after her due date on 31st May. I am so proud of Jules because she managed to avoid intervention and stuck with just gas and air despite a fairly long labour and some complications such as meconium in the water. She stuck to her guns and insisted on being left to it as much as possible, and finally got the natural birth she deserves.
Here's Bella with big sister Sulis:
and with Granny (my sister, Jules, in the background):
snoozing in the garden:
having a cuddle with mum:
Like me, Jules' first birthing experience was fairly medicalised and scary. I have faith that I can have a similarly satisfying experience second time around. I'm much better prepared this time, having done a hypnobirthing course with John and diligently listening to the hypnobirthing and natal hypnotherapy CD which prepares you mentally for being able to cope well with birth - Jules listened to it too and really thinks it helped.
I prefer the natal hypnotherapy CD as the affirmations make sense to me, it encourages me to practice my breathing (long outbreath, in through the nose and out through the mouth) and the guided beach meditation is so relaxing that I usually end up snoozing through it (luckily it still works if you're asleep!).
I've also read a few books which have convinced me that childbirth doesn't have to be an ordeal:
Childbirth without Fear,
Hypnobirthing
Birthing from Within
These books have also equipped me with the confidence to recognise when certain medical interventions are unnecessary and how to refuse procedures when appropriate to avoid the 'cycle of intervention' (when one medical procedure leads to another and another..increasing the risk of forceps or caesaraean delivery which could have been avoided). They aren't dogmatic though, and I realise that certain procedures in specificn situations may well be helpful. So I will go into boirth with an open mind...
I'm crossing my fingers that Alicia Lily is more punctual than her cousin. I'm due in a week and I'm so keen to meet her. To avoid Jules' agonising, frustrating wait for her new baby I'm telling myself and others that "My due date is 10th June so I'm expecting to drop any time from 10th to 24th June". Or when I'm feeling particularly laissez-faire "I'm due sometime this month".
I'm so keen to meet Bella but unsure about making the 3-4 hour roundtrip when so heavily pregnant. I popped into Reading today, a 20 minute drive away, got measured for a nursing bra, went into H&M for some cute (and brilliantly cheap) baby clothes, stopped for a drink at a cafe and then drove back home. I was completely knackered after that. My SPD/Pelvic Girdle Pain really kicked in during my gentle waddle through the Oracle - despite wearing my tubigrip - so I'm now staggering about the house like an old granny.
Luckily, my lovely sister has told me to stay put this weekend and that they'll come and visit me in a few weeks' time to show off Bella and meet Alicia.
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