What I Want & What I'm Doing

Haven't posted for a while. Alicia's 3 week long nighttime coughing fits peaked a few days ago and left me a frail husk of my former self. I was ill without actually being ill. Ill from lack of sleep. Barely able to boot up my lappy.

Alicia was completely fine during the day, she'd wake up with a choking cough around 2am and not really settle afterwards. Luckily, three nights of garlic socks and a few drops of echinacea in orange juice (vit c helps it work more effectively)three times a day has ended the ordeal for us all.

I have a lot going on at the moment, or I'm about to anyway. I'm talking to my boss tomorrow about starting work. My plan is to squeeze in a few hours a day when Alicia naps - with the possibility of doing more on the weekend if needed. This is all because I can't bear to leave her with a childminder just yet.

I'm sure I can find someone to take good care of her. It's just that I want her to be loved, kissed, cuddled and tickled all day long too. Something a paid professional may not do. After all, they get paid to care not to love. A subtle difference but to me a huge one when Lissy's only 7 months.

I'm also about to start my home study course to become a hypnobirthing practitioner. I have always wanted to have a job or hobby that enables me to make a difference - to improve the world in a small way. I think, I hope, that this new venture will tick that box for me.

I'm passionate about helping other women give birth without fear, which is exactly what hypnobirthing did for me. It's something I should be able to easily fit around my day job and my family. I plan to do a one day course each month to start off and see how it goes from there. My sis is doing the training too so we will be study buddies and help to motivate each other when we start designing and running the courses. Watch this space ;-)

My other short term aims are to really focus on moving my body every day (yoga, walking) and to listen to my body more around food. I am in the grip of chocoholism at the moment and have a disturbing propensity to eat and eat and eat - totally ignoring the fact that I'm full. Food for a treat, for entertainment, out of habit, in lieu of alcohol, fags and other naughties...I want to learn to eat from hunger instead. The good old fashioned way.

Which sparks me to answer Notes to Self Plus Two's McLinky thing (which I missed due to extreme sleep deprivation and general malaise): 'What do you want for you in 2011?':

1. To have a firm, fit, healthy body I'm proud of. Translates into - get back to 9 stone by May and look good in shorts this summer.

2. To make more money. Shallow, yes. I want to buy a house in a year or two. A 3 bed one, ideally with a study or dining room where I can work from. We love living in this idyllic village but our rented 2 bed bungalow is a bit of a tight fit now there's four of us. I dream of buying one of the big houses down the road. But the 3 beds here are around £430K way, way out of our league. At the moment anyway. Just until I come up with my Plan For Affluence.

3. To be a brighter light. I have a sun tattoo on my arm, partly because as a Leo that's my birth planet but mainly to remind me to be the source of warmth, happiness, inspiration and light in my own and others' lives. I want to start fulfilling this - be a better wife, mother, friend. Spread more happiness and love in my corner of the world. Make a difference. Light up peoples' lives - especially my loved ones'.