Ella, my five year old, led a Q&A session with J and me in the car last week. Subject: our upcoming wedding. Objective: to glean as much detail as possible. Result: she realised she won’t be staying with us on our wedding night.
“But why do I have to stay with Daddy after? Why can’t I stay with you?”
(Tense pause whilst my stomach knots and I prepare myself to deal with a tantrum).
“Well, it’s traditional for the people getting married, the husband and wife, to be alone on their wedding night, darling.”
“But that’s not fair, mummy. It’s my wedding too!”
“Er, no sweetie it isn’t actually your wedding. It’s mummy and J’s wedding.”
Before she can protest, I go into Automatic Child Placating Mode, “You know, you are a very important part of the wedding, my darling, and you have a very important job - which is to be a Flower Girl, and to look very pretty, and to help make our day special. That includes being a good girl and staying at Daddy’s that evening. And anyway, you will get your turn when you’re older. You can have your own wedding.”
“But it isn’t fair ‘cos I might not want to get married when I’m older.”
Hmm. She has a point.
“Ella, look at that red umbrella that lady is carrying. Look! Isn’t it bright!”
Phew. Thank god for distraction tactics.
Yesterday, J and I went to the Registry Office to give our notice of marriage. We discussed our choice of vows and whether we wanted a reading. The Registrar suggested we could bring a song on a CD to round off the ceremony.
“What sort of thing can we have?”
“Practically anything. You know, someone recently signed the register to the tune of Bob the Builder.”
“As in the kid’s TV theme tune?!”
“Exactly.”
It turns out that it was the choice of the bride’s three year old son. And now I’m sure that there must be a mummy out there who has sacrificed her wedding night – and all it traditionally entails – to make their child feel included.
I thank the lady with the red umbrella for my lucky escape.
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7amood-m/2310972368/
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5 comments:
Perhaps it was the line "can he fix it?" and the resoundingly positive "YES HE CAN" that made the bride choose the music. Romantic dreams of the omnipotence of her husband...
What an adorable post! Stumbled you!
Thanks, Julie, much appreciated as a novice blogger! I've just checked out your blog and love it...I'll be back ;-)
What an astute little lady you have on your hands. Bringing up a modern girl in a modern world can't be easy... what we learn as we grow older is that so little is black and white and life is pretty much one big grey area. Big thanks to red umbrellas! Good luck on your wedding day. I'm sure she will be very proud of her beautiful mummy!
So what song did you choose in the end...? I reckon if El is asking those kind of questions she'll cmoe up with a brilliant selection for you to choose from!
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