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Wednesday, 7 January 2009

My Girl's Got Heart

Yesterday, Ella and I were settled on the sofa sharing a fleece blanket. 

She had just finished playing with her virtual Pony on her Dad's Nintendo DS (which she has negotiated part shares in). I was slipping into the salty sea air of Coastliners (you haven't read Joanne Harris? Do). 

A soft silence snuggled around us.

After a few minutes, Ella mused "I wonder what I was born for, Mummy".

I put my book down and met her intense gaze. "I don't know, love. What do you think you were born for?"

I watched her purse her lips and frown a little as she searched for a reply. "Well, Mummy I think that it is up to you".

Amazed at this profundity I exclaimed, "Oh, sweetie that's so clever of you! Yes, I think it is completely up to you to choose what you are born for. 

"You can decide who you want to be, what you want to do, what you want your life to be about..." I could feel myself go into Babble Mode, so excited was I at the prospect of having co-created a mini philosopher. Such wise words from a five year old!

"No, Mummy. I mean I think it's up to you to decide what I was born for".

"I don't think so, sweetie. I think it's up to you. I really wouldn't want that responsibility. But thanks anyway."

This morning, I watched Ella have breakfast and felt one of those random feelings of parental joy that grip you sweetly when you least expect them.

She's such a sweet, kind girl. I feel so lucky to be her mother sometimes. Lots of times. Not during whining or moaning times though.

I felt compelled to tell Ella why I love her - I mean why apart from the biological imperative to do so. It's too easy to keep wrapping it all up in a nondescript "I love you". So I told her.

"Did you know, Els, that I think you are clever and kind. You're pretty, you're cute and I feel really lucky to be your mummy." She looked up briefly, smiled and went back to eating her raisin bagel.

"You're so loving and you're so easy to love" I added.

Ella dropped her bagel and locked eyes with me. Hers were as wide as her smile. "Mummy!" she exclaimed in a 'Eureka!' tone, "that's what I was born for".

Do you know, I think that's what I was born for too. Giving love and getting it has always been my main drive. For me, being loving and being loved are the greatest pleasures in life.

I always wondered what my life purpose is.

Thanks, Ella.

16 comments:

Home Office Mum said...

That's really lovely. What a great reason to be born.

Single Parent Dad said...

What a sweet, and true, story.

However I was put here to ensure the world never suffered from a terrible Brandy Snap surplus.

Susnna (A Modern Mother) said...

What a wonderful post. Your best one yet. You sum it all up really beautifully!

DEBS said...

Ah, lovely story and so typical of El's.

Here's a nice quote that sums it up:

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."

~David Viscott

More than a Mother said...

How beautiful!

Tawny said...

That is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

Susanna (A Modern Mother) said...

I put this post on StumbleUpon and it did really well. It was upbeat and happy but not sappy. Still one of my favourites..

Little Brown Book said...

Brilliant post - has left me feeling all warm and tingly =)

that girl? said...

That is such a great post! Only kids can give you those moments of honesty and total love without any agenda! Great piece of writing!

Ella said...

What a beautiful post!

Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

Have come from the Carnival. That was realy lovely.

Part Mummy Part Me said...

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I'm glowing with pleasure :-)

Anonymous said...

The concise way you encapsulate one of those momentous times as a parent when a child is able to verbalize their own feelings about you is very heart warming. Thank you(Especially helps those other moments when one feels one should be allowed to have free lessons from the U.N. on 'how to succeed in hostage talks'!...)

Sophillia said...

That's so lovely :D I'm probably not the target reader for your blog but I love it :D And I don't even have children!

Helen said...

What a wonderful post. I really enjoy reading about the amazing relationship you have with Ella. She sounds like a very special girl - very bright, inquisitive and loving. You must be extremely proud of her, and thanks for sharing your special moments.

Jo Beaufoix said...

That was absolutely gorgeous. SOmetimes the little monkeys just blow us away don't they. :D